Carol’s Column

Jogging's for the birds (30 Sep) A hysterectomy means never having to say no (21 Oct) Heaven help me (28 Oct) Bath blues (4 Nov) The toothmouse strikes again (11 Nov) Oh death where is thy sting? (18 Nov) Flush your worries away — ask the kids (25 Nov) Braais — or who burned the wors? (2 Dec) Property tycoon trauma (9 Dec) Parties in the sticks (16 Dec) Heppy Klissimus (23 Dec) Sardines in the sand (6 Jan) Cast off the gherkins (13 Jan) A louse in time saves nine (20 Jan) Where have all the dumb kids gone? (27 Jan) Who hates Gertrude Ginkel? (3 Feb) Who said Valentines were soppy? (10 Feb) Life is one big yoyo (17 Feb) Life is just a tube of toothpaste (24 Feb) Boating's for the birds (2 Mar) Groovy movie (9 Mar) Every household drudge should have her day — but when? (23 Mar) Naughty, naked and oh so nice (20 Apr) In the swim of things (27 Apr) Every mother deserves one (4 May) Common census bites the dust (11 May) The sad demise of Horace (18 May) Of plague ... and things (25 May) Uncle Walter in long-Johns (1 Jun) So who said parties are such fun? (8 Jun) Happy Father's Day to you (15 Jun) Blame it all on Schuyler (22 Jun) Life is just a set of false teeth (29 Jun) Health freaks of the world unite (6 Jul) Gone fishin' ... or something (13 Jul) A little flu goes a long way (20 Jul) The knock-kneed protege (27 Jul) Sometimes, the bald truth hurts more than anything (3 Aug) Eat your heart out Jackie O (10 Aug) Sad lament of a dried-out drudge (17 Aug) When hair should never happen (24 Aug) When spare parts hardly happen (31 Aug) Tall, dark and handsome (7 Sep) When stately homes crumble (14 Sep) In the bush with the terrors (21 Sep) When boerewors is the bane of life (28 Sep) Dead fish don't talk back (5 Oct) Culture vulture (12 Oct) Strange things happen in the dark (19 Oct) Bite the dust baby, cos here I come (26 Oct) Some people even sew for fun (2 Nov) A big city's for the birds and even they don't want it (9 Nov) A ball by any other game (16 Nov) So who said fat was fun? (23 Nov) So why don't Xmas stockings fit? (7 Dec) And a happy Christmas to you too (14 Dec) A Christmas tale (21 Dec) So who invented New Year? (4 Jan) It shouldn't happen to anyone (11 Jan) So who needs sleep? (18 Jan) Mothers of the world unite (25 Jan) Supermother rides again (1 Feb) The bean trail rides again (8 Feb) The naked truth (15 Feb) You're in the army now (1 Mar) So who needs blood (8 Mar) Wine is good for chilblains (15 Mar) So who needs a status symbol in their life? Me (22 Mar) Who invented the fork anyway? (29 Mar) Every fried egg will have its day (5 Apr) So who's afraid of crocs? (26 Apr) What a life ... it shouldn't happen to anyone (3 May) What goes thump in the dark? (10 May) Blame it on Mr Bell (24 May) Business is hell (31 May) Adultery, boredom, cold feet . . . take your pick (7 Jun) Be happy you're born a woman (14 Jun) Every father deserves his day (21 Jun) Make your ecosystem work (28 Jun) There's nothing like a good chew (5 Jul) Frostbite can be fun (12 Jul) The Liz Taylor of Parkwood (19 Jul) The Wedding causes civil war (26 Jul) Everyone loves a swinger (2 Aug) Starkers in the grocery cupboard (16 Aug) And the turkey came too (23 Aug) There's a blight in my bath (30 Aug) If music be the food of love . . . starve (6 Sep) Culture vulture strikes again (13 Sep) So who needs green grass? (27 Sep) Eat your heart out Margot (8 Nov) The silk sheet syndrome (15 Nov) So who needs a dreamhouse? (22 Nov) Christmas comes but once a year — just as well, my feet can't take the strain (6 Dec) Well, hello Mother Christmas! (20 Dec) 1982 — the year of the mole cricket (10 Jan) Mothers of the world unite for you have only brown paper to lose (17 Jan) So who says fresh air is healthy? (24 Jan) Cast off your school uniforms (7 Feb) Strike of the unpaid domestic engineers (21 Feb) So who wants to be a fish? (28 Feb) The ice-cream cone syndrome of life (7 Mar) When a scone means failure or success (14 Mar) I always wanted to be a bat (21 Mar) Fasten your helmets and your false teeth (28 Mar) Revolution of the fig leaf generation (4 Apr) Holidays hardly happen (25 Apr) Fish are pretty foxy (2 May) Mother's Day comes once a year — it's not enough (9 May) So who's got time to live these days? (9 May) A toothy tale about headgear (16 May) Roll out the pastry, your country needs you. (23 May) Mammoth mother strikes again (30 May) Cold feet will always fry (6 Jun) Who says it's a dog's life? (4 Jul) Every dancer's mum shall have her day (11 Jul) It's a perfectly opposite life (25 Jul) They say crocs lurk in the waters of the swamps (1 Aug) So who said that naked wasn't nice? (8 Aug) They say pets are good for your health (29 Aug) It's toothmouse time and the gold price is up (5 Sep) Sex is here to stay (12 Sep) A skeleton out of the cupboard (19 Sep) Battle of the boerewors (26 Sep) They say a little bit of integration goes a long way (3 Oct) A book, a bough, a glass of wine and that’s it (10 Oct) So who’s busy? (17 Oct) Is later life just, well, a set of spare parts? (24 Oct) A little bit of status gets you nowhere (31 Oct) Stimulate your sole (7 Nov) Hey, look! It’s big Les and little Carol on the mean machine (14 Nov) Hark, the Jewish angel sings (28 Nov) The night we saw the Pope and the peppermints tasted funny (5 Dec) Christmas comes but once a year – thank heavens (12 Dec) C’mon – it’s nearly Christmas, let’s have another swinging party (9 Jan) Things aren’t what they used to be – or what they should be for that matter (16 Jan) Meet my daughter the plant monitor (23 Jan) When death is a welcome release (6 Feb) Watchit! Here comes Niki Lauda Lazar! (13 Feb) There’s nothing quite like drowning to keep you fit (20 Feb) Speed gets the adrenalin going (27 Feb) Pap and boerewors for swimming Moms (6 Mar) So who needs to speak English these days? (13 Mar) Every mother needs a newspaper round in her life (20 Mar) When parents and teachers meet — life’s always exciting (27 Mar) So who did what to whom in Plet? (24 Apr) When the cops caught the tunny run home (1 May) Drink champagne and do your bit for South Africa (15 May) Oh death where is thy sting? (22 May) The diningroom table’s the backbone of the family: Help! We’ve just collapsed (23 May) A smoky tale of woe (29 May) Mystery and intrigue on the Drakensberg Express (5 Jun) The banana loaf mother strikes back (12 Jun) Needed now — inflatable mum for deflated dad (19 Jun) Hamburgers still beat slow dancing when you’re a kid (26 Jun) Hey! Watchit Greek islands — here comes Momma Lazar! (3 Jul) Flying high in hospital (17 Jul) Facing up to the bare facts of rhythm in the old genes (24 Jul) Never give up in a tight spot (31 Jul) So who needs Rod Stewart and a flashy old diamond? (7 Aug) C’mon, plug into a whole new way of life (14 Aug) Henry the hog falls in love (21 Aug) Every mother has a cross to — bear some are heavier than others (28 Aug) Life’s just an old spark plug anyway ... (11 Sep) I guess other mothers have trees too ... (18 Sep) Fins ain’t what they used to be (25 Sep) Gerrie for Prime Minister (2 Oct) Come and have a wild experience in Pretoria (16 Oct) Help! help! I’m a prisoner in a body (23 Oct) They call it high-flying living (6 Nov) Help, help, there’s a hell’s angel trying to get out (13 Nov) Motherhood — it’s a great big crying rip-off (20 Nov) Beauty is only skin deep — so who needs skin? (27 Nov) Every mother needs a book club (4 Dec) The Great Trek strikes again (11 Dec) Fun in the sun — or when holidays happily happen (15 Jan) A fishy tale with a bite (22 Jan) Scuba divers do it deeper (29 Jan) When jogging goes to Carol’s head (5 Feb) So who needs romance on St Valentine's Day? (12 Feb) Beauty takes to the bush (19 Feb) Who said life was just one big hoot? (4 Mar) A tragic tale (11 Mar) All about camels, cogs and turkeys and other things (18 Mar) My daughter the fish (25 Mar) Raindrops keep falling on my head (1 Apr) A little drama in life goes a long way (8 Apr) A murderer or saint? (15 Apr) So who needs Disney World when we’ve got the Rand Show? (22 Apr) The day Walter curled up and died at Satara (29 Apr) Up, up and away in a plastic bubble (6 May) Every mother should have her day (13 May) King Alfred never made a mountain out of a cupcake (20 May) Let it all hang out (27 May) To hunt a man you need a drip-dry wig (3 Jun) How not to get into a stew (10 Jun) Every dog should have his day (17 Jun) Anyone for a culture shock? (24 Jun) Life is just a bar of wormy chocolate (1 Jul) When Carol goes into battle dressed to kill (8 Jul) Who said running is fun? (15 Jul) There’s nothing quite like camping (29 Jul) A little home cooking to soup-up Zola (5 Aug) Every mother should have a Jody Scheckter in her life (12 Aug) Every mother needs a thief in her life (19 Aug) She’s just a talking skunk (26 Aug) Every back should have its day ... or seven (2 Sep) If you haven’t stuffed cannelloni ... you really haven’t lived (9 Sep) Happiness is when your son has a date for the matric dance (23 Sep) It’s spring and sex is in the air (30 Sep) Every mutt has its day (7 Oct) You know what? Enough is enough (14 Oct) Momma is marooned on an island paradise (21 Oct) Oh ring where is thy ding a ling a ling? (28 Oct) Who says the grass is always greener on the other side ...? (4 Nov) Matric’s killing me! I just can’t stand the strain! (11 Nov) I am a tree-trunk, Omo sofa (18 Nov) Poor Dubowitz bites the dust (9 Dec) Heppy Klissimus to you, too (16 Dec) Never mind the lumps in the jam — it’s the thought that counts (Date unknown) It’s a cat’s life (1 Feb) Oozing oil from every pore (8 Feb) The night sweet romance passed me by (15 Feb) When the stay-fit freak strikes again (22 Feb) Burning rubber in the bushes (15 Mar) Boerewors will overcome (Mar · day unknown) Business trips are hell (19 Apr) No beating about the bush (26 Apr) So, who needs to Loop a Star? (Apr · day unknown) Come the revolution (10 May) When a country hick takes on the USA (24 May) When life is just a bowl of kumquats (31 May) Meet my son the rock star (7 Jun) When the phantom bomber tries to strike (14 Jun) For the father who has everything (21 Jun) Exams are hell on the cells (28 Jun) A kiss is just a kiss (5 Jul) Every mother needs a full stomach in her life (12 Jul) If food be the music of love, eat on (19 Jul) We're all going on a cosy holiday (2 Aug) Who's hanging up on life? (9 Aug) Hello Baryshnikov, my name's Carol (30 Aug) Gardening tips stink (13 Sep) Life's a bowl of olives (20 Sep) Who says every mom has to suffer? The traffic department (11 Oct) Uteri for hire (18 Oct) Who's having a ball? (1 Nov) Boerewors is the bane of my life (8 Nov) Help! I've got a teenage daughter (15 Nov) Hooray, it's happy holidays again (22 Nov) If you feel like exercising just lie down until the feeling goes away (29 Nov) Men's lib could start with a little chiffon (6 Dec) Come cast your vote for Carol's Commonwealth (24 Jan) Memories are made of evenings like this (31 Jan) It could probably happen to anyone (6 Mar) So who needs a hog and a hyena in their lives? (13 Mar) Naked is nice . . . so they say (22 May) Lay on jacuzzis for Fifi and Spot (29 May) Is man really necessary? (26 Jun) Clothes to rend the family apart (31 Jul) Guru Spock moves over... (21 Aug) There's a mini-millionaire in our backyard (11 Sep) The ultimate civilised breakfast, SA style (2 Oct) Ice-cream cone syndrome is incurable (23 Oct) If the cap fits, steal it (20 Nov) Full marks for matric tact and tactics (27 Nov) On the slippery slope to fame (4 Dec) Merry Christmas to you too, Mr Cohen (11 Dec) The day I received advice from above (29 Jan) We've been harbouring a friendly alien (5 Feb) Braving the depths of life in a wetsuit (12 Feb) I'm the Queen of the crumbling castle (19 Feb) Now it's see and tell (26 Feb) What every good wife should know - or how to have a happy marriage (5 Mar) Trapped with a teenage daughter (12 Mar) Devastating dialogue at the Dinner Drama (2 Apr) A versatile bowl fits two fish sandwiches (9 Apr) For whom the bell tolls: a hairy experience (18 Jun) Down Under wives pant for pay; here it’s zilch (25 Jun) Say a swift Howzit! on your teledivellicater (9 Jul) Old age or not, 10 eggs per meal is murder (16 Jul) Smiles grow stiff amidst all the goodwill (27 Aug) Stubby’s farewell a pulverised garden (3 Sep) Birthday greetings ‘Kos’ a fortune (10 Sep) Die rubriek is ook in Afrikaans beskikbaar ... (24 Sep) Some fishy tales of feminine prowess (29 Oct) Flushed with success in toiletry trade (5 Nov) Get away from it all with a 7-year hitch (19 Nov) I'm not hogging it over the jet set (3 Dec) The rise and fall of a Jewish Santa (17 Dec) It’s hard to live a little if you can’t let go a little (31 Dec) Congrats, for thousands of us, might be in order (Date unknown) Joining the club in university of life (Date unknown) Bring on the sleep machine! (21 Jan) Fattening and flexing in the great flab war (28 Jan) Snappy hint for canine canines (29 Apr) I’m loo-sing out on the new SA (10 Jun) Thermal pants his bottom line (17 Jun) Blame it all on spinach (24 Jun) Who says it’s just a game? (1 Jul) It’s enough to make you ask what’s in a name (8 Jul) Total onslaught all over again (5 Aug) It’s not junk, it’s our history (12 Aug) In the thick of the brown (19 Aug) On a countdown to fall-out (26 Aug) The day my daughter turned into a swan (2 Sep) So, what's a lion or two? (9 Sep) Parenthood’s prosaic myths (16 Sep) Democracy is a fragile plant (23 Sep) Heaven is ... a heedful dog (30 Sep) Surprise visit cleaned us out (7 Oct) The gift in pink: chicken manure (14 Oct) Hot water and a bald head (21 Oct) Boris was Hugo looking for love (4 Nov) Mental quarks about carrots (11 Nov) Matric blues and a new era (18 Nov) Serving up the perfect vac job (2 Dec) Let’s dress men up for a long life (Dec · day unknown) Heppy Klissimus brings out the dustbin men (Date unknown) Some dags cakked under the strine (Date unknown) Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived (Date unknown) Exporting Parktown prawns (Date unknown) Raisins are tasty, but children are more filling (Date unknown) Sons, daughters, decisions and dual standards (Date unknown) The "Joys" of Camping (1 Jan) Carsick crayfish — a dead loss (20 Jan) Masked humour of people at war (27 Jan) Naked truth of saying goodbye (10 Feb) No coffee perks in my direction (24 Mar) Beware my little fender bender (6 Apr) The dread K53 drives you mad (7 Jul) Bye-bye smelly, lovable, comical canine (28 Jul) Even in a bath shocks can be lurking (4 Aug) Why didn’t I do this all before? (8 Sep) Adverts' slogans power up our New South Africa (Date unknown) Small things that shock from a dizzy height (Date unknown) Just keep the braai smoke off the TV screen (22 Mar) The day the grapevine broke down (Apr · day unknown) Making a mother out of Leonardo (3 May) The sweet smell of sexcess (14 Jun) Our temple takes a tumble (26 Jul) Born to shop – in Istanbul Grand Bazaar (9 Aug) Beating the gym-workout syndrome (16 Aug) British hack blasphemed noble ritual (20 Sep) Love’s but the frailty of mind (4 Oct) Oh woe is me, now that the builders have all departed (25 Oct) Hellish end to life for an unknown teenager (15 Nov) Housewives ordinary? Forget it! (28 Feb) How I nearly had my body unblocked (28 Mar) Oh boy, mom remembered the blatjang (23 May) Planet America is a wonder to behold (30 May) I share a tub with Hillary Clinton (6 Jun) Cold feet search nightly for a pair of warm thighs (18 Jul) Slicing bread is not as easy as it looks (25 Jul) Turning red after being in the pink (8 Aug) Clutch gets into high gear (19 Sep) To sleep perchance to dream (3 Oct) Romance sparkles – and dims (7 Nov) Suffer the little children (28 Nov) Touts at robots help usher in new SA (13 Sep) A smack on the kisser for the New South Africa (11 Oct) Forget the pyramids – sex is the way to grow old (14 Jun) Sunbeams of happiness – not only for pigeons (19 Jul) Taking a bath with the neighbours saves water (21 Jul) Sunset call for camping's elite (30 Aug) Cutting down trees isn't the only way to calm down (6 Sep) Home alone at night can be an alarming experience (8 Nov) Fortunately for Livingston, I presume: it’s Christmas (22 Dec) Exhaustedly talking my way into the New SA (Date unknown) Everyone trying to be someone else on Cape beaches (10 Jan) If only the ghost of old Hog would rise up and bite (24 Jan) My private insights into Winnie and Anneline (3 Apr) Empty schools are an instant education solution (17 Apr) The day I exhibited distinct birding characteristics (24 Apr) Love at first flutter in Klein Karoo’s Cango Valley (15 May) The ultimate nightmare is not knowing, and waiting (22 May) There are absolutely no flies on the Elixir of Life (30 May) Minor disasters put everything into perspective (10 Jul) Pretoria hijackers have such a sense of humour (7 Aug) Who says our animals don't have spiritual souls? (6 Nov) Examining the inexact science of weather forecasting (16 Apr) From Eau de Clone ... to the sweet smell of excess (30 Apr) Making a start is important in effort to combat crime (7 May) When a syringa twig does the job better, use it... (14 May) Maltese poodles are intrepid South African settlers (21 May) Soon we'll be gobbling Karoo 'land langoustines' (28 May) Laying the foundations for loving thy neighbour (25 Jun) 'Crazee' that a lack of a 'kick hair' lost us Test (2 Jul) Naturally, Prince Charles and I talked hydrangeas (13 Aug) Queen of the World mourned, even on Cape Flats (3 Sep) Reversing the fate of a southern right whale (17 Sep) Solly's shack shelters hope for all South Africans (24 Sep) CD-Roms way beyond the ken of anyone over 4 (8 Oct) Husband or jacuzzi? Is there a real choice? (15 Oct) Army surplus store proved to be accommodating (29 Oct) Aerobics, like bungee jumping, is strictly for lunatics (5 Nov) The day I lit up my husband's life in our new jacuzzi (19 Nov) Vinning is vot counts, and our Boks did so in style (26 Nov) Hearing reflects horrors but also a chance for hope (3 Dec) Putting on a charitable face for the season (10 Dec) Guns & Mobile Phones (Date unknown) The multitudes left us mauled, bruised – and grateful (7 Jan) Leather, latex and lingerie ripe for the plucking (14 Jan) Treasure the teachers - most of them are gems (21 Jan) Ewe ... hayi ... and a few clicks are just the trick (4 Feb) I still hate guns, but I’m not joining the chicken run (11 Feb) Cricket, mealies and joy of being mother-in-law-to-be (18 Feb) The only time I've been speechless is on a plane (25 Feb) Johanna gets first-class treatment at a state hospital (4 Mar) Desperately seeking your ever-so-lost beloved car (11 Mar) Schools crisis a threat to all in SA (18 Mar) Don't camp if you're a wet, it's only for the foolhardy (25 Mar) Deep throat puts spring in the jump of an intruder (8 Apr) Gun-toting farmer should have been put behind bars (15 Apr) Ain't no place like spunky Johannesburg today (22 Apr) Antjie's stunning book convinced me SA will work (29 Apr) Making ‘mincemeat’ of a potentially useful asset (6 May) Rambo Carol flexes muscles and vanquishes her foes (13 May) Only a mug thinks crime is confined to Gauteng (20 May) Gearing up for my son's Caribbean splicing not easy (27 May) The break up of Spice Girls may have sunk our rand (8 Jul) Blowing into Jo'burg on a brew of goodwill and beans (15 Jul) Hell hath no fury like those irritated by cellphones (22 Jul) Kheto pointed to a shadow in the water ... (29 Jul) 'African Renaissance' is nonsense until killing ends (5 Aug) We have our counterparts in the animal kingdom (19 Aug) 'Goud-gevaar' as Kiwis grab the SA mealie market (9 Sep) There's a great new way of meeting people in SA (16 Sep) Full feed ahead with the Jewish mother syndrome (30 Sep) Hotstuff Lazar cc will take a wait off your mind (7 Oct) Packing with a spouse not a bonding experience ... (14 Oct) Burying a child alive: just what IS happening to us? (21 Oct) It's so easy to adapt to life in an island paradise (4 Nov) Sea creature now sports a funky pair of spectacles (11 Nov) Maya is Born (17 Nov) Well hello, Maya, it's nice to know you're here at last (18 Nov) So, what's in a name? Ask the friendly Americans (25 Nov) Koopsiekte inevitable in shopping malls of the US (2 Dec) Next century will be good for women and my Maya (9 Dec) New Year's Eve (29 Dec) Ma needs her car in a hurry down here on Earth (13 Jan) Search is on to find – before 2000 – one aardvark (20 Jan) Richmonds are aberrations (27 Jan) Camping out for an ID and passing for ‘coloured’ (10 Feb) Who could afford to live to the ripe age of 309? (17 Feb) It’s hard not to be cynical when listening to TV ads (24 Feb) Able housekeepers and admirable ‘romantic’ tactics (3 Mar) They really don’t make things the way they used to (10 Mar) I lost my men in a techno nightmare in cyberspace (17 Mar) Forgive my yawn as the cliché-crunchers take over (24 Mar) 107 black olives growing on a tree I planted myself (31 Mar) As the wors sizzles, where did Renata spend Easter? (7 Apr) Who is this amazing cook and whiz with the vacuum? (14 Apr) Troglodyte development planning for East Rand (21 Apr) Lazar of Arabia, and the groin pain was worth it (28 Apr) Scary ... I almost murdered a man, intentionally (5 May) Forget soaps, just switch to pre-election politicians (12 May) A dose of reverse-Viagra might go down well (2 Jun) The Generation Gap (23 Jun) Take Norman, my car (29 Jun) My ‘ubuntu braai’ idea sadly went down in flames (14 Jul) Listen up Mallett! My old mom has some ideas (28 Jul) When you croodle, you’ve moved beyond cuddling (4 Aug) Yes, mom, God should have been a woman (11 Aug) Making pets out of the not-so-dangerous criminals (18 Aug) Plumbing the depths to find the plumber inside me (25 Aug) Just how did we survive with only soap and water? (8 Sep) Not out of my tree, just the opposite (9 Nov) Ho hum, soon it will be the end of yet another era (1 Dec) A mal jol in the mall to mark millennium’s end (14 Dec) Sometimes good things do happen to good people (24 Dec) Holed up in my underground shelter (30 Dec) Maya (30 Dec) Nisson Mandra (30 Dec) I used the word lemming advisedly (Dec · day unknown) For better or worse? That's the (cellphone) question (Date unknown) It’s time to add the word ‘perp’ to your lexicon (Date unknown) Politically correct language (Date unknown) Those weekends just ain’t long enough (Date unknown) Yankee grandchild’s biltong delights (8 Jan) Wish list for the new millennium (11 Jan) Sometimes it helps to make a real stink (8 Feb) Come on all, give whatever you can ... (29 Feb) Forget alien plants, what about guns? (7 Mar) Buying a one way ticket to my dreams (21 Mar) Putting old ties where your ‘tush’ is (28 Mar) Can morality ever justify this suffering? (4 Apr) ET and money make many very happy (11 Apr) Garden’s alive with beer-guzzling snails (25 Apr) All at sea (for a day) as we get shipshape (2 May) Secondhand Norman storms along (9 May) How Guy, a tree murderer, won me over (16 May) More info on world’s first flush toilet (23 May) Polite police and rapid post a pleasure (13 Jun) Three down and only one to go ... (27 Jun) Good times, bad times in a heartbeat (4 Jul) New ID Books (Jul · day unknown) Penguins (Jul · day unknown) No longer making a spectacle of myself (1 Aug) Rain and cold compound the misery (8 Aug) A little perfection can go a long way (15 Aug) Beneficial roll of the dice in sleepy dorp (29 Aug) Where, oh where have all the Beetles gone? (19 Sep) Resolving this wee matter would be joy (26 Sep) JR now playing a tune for Gershwin (3 Oct) Don’t crunch, rather munch pesky snails (10 Oct) Chef in the making – and what a pain (31 Oct) Hello! Give a thought for the desperate (7 Nov) My remote cellphone is confusing me (21 Nov) An election of a different kind (4 Dec) Behold, the silly season is upon us ... (12 Dec) I miss our fluffy little scrap of energy (Date unknown) The land of milk and honey ... but no biltong (Date unknown) Is Packing for Perth ever treachery? (16 Jan) It all began when I was a birthday gift (23 Jan) Going the full Monty in hair dyes (31 Jan) Supermarket shopping the new warfare (20 Feb) Three tortoises (5 Mar) Where do missing hubcaps go? (12 Mar) Josias the kraal manure spreader knows his toes (2 Apr) A machine which can change your life (28 May) Noo-Noo and the shosholoza angel (29 May) Is this a secret weapon, or what? (25 Jun) Mr Tannenboim (2 Jul) Die Bleddy Boom (23 Jul) Animal behaviour consultant (30 Jul) Renaissance Man puts on an apron (6 Aug) Life in Cape Town (14 Aug) WTC Attack (17 Sep) The PAGAD March (15 Oct) The Parrot (22 Oct)