Carol’s Column

Garden’s alive with beer-guzzling snails

Our garden is a tangle of trees and bushes. Over the years I have attempted to grow flowers to add a touch of colour, but whatever I planted was consumed by snails. Even marigolds, apparently loathed by these creatures, were munched away by slithers of snails.

So I randomly threw snail bait around and the following day, the soil would be littered with snail carcasses.

However, I noticed that although our garden was snail free, other forms of wildlife also disappeared. Most of all, there were fewer birds.

The flower seedlings, on the other hand, grew with rapidity and some even bloomed beautifully.

One day, speaking to a keen birder, I commented on the paucity of bird life in our garden and was told that if I used snail bait, snails would perish but so would everything else including the birds that consumed the snails who had been poisoned by bait.

Let the snails roam free and you'll see the wildlife in your garden reappear,

I was told.

So I abandoned the snail bait and decided to swop flowers for birds.

And it worked, within months our snail population increased and so did the birdlife, insect life and even small reptile life.

Lizards, geckos and chameleons appeared, spiders spun webs, insects multiplied and, best of all, birds flew in. Including a pair of olive thrushes.

Now for those who have never had the pleasure of a close acquaintance with an olive thrush, this wonderful bird sings like Sibongile Khumalo in full throat. You cannot imagine the wonderful trills of a happy olive thrush.

Other birds came too; pigeons and doves, as well as white eyes, bulbuls, sparrows, weavers and even a plump Burchell's coucal.

Then I was seduced by petunias, multicoloured petunias winking at me from our local nursery.

I purchased and planted them and then, to my horror, observed the snails, on their rampant warpath, consuming them by the leaf.

In a fit of anger,

I purchased snail bait and threw it about. Once again, our garden was a killing field of snails and the petunias thrived.

One morning, I woke to silence. Outside on the tiny patch of lawn, lay a dead olive thrush and I felt like a murderer.

It took months for the garden to recover from the snail bait episode.

Meanwhile, I have researched non-harmful snail deterrents and discovered there are several. Besides squashing, a bloodthirsty thing to do, I have discovered the ultimate repellent.

I was told tins filled with sugar water and buried in the soil at ground level would attract snails who would swarm to it, then in their greed, go for the sugar water, fall into the receptacle and drown.

It worked reasonably. Then about a month ago, another snail fundi advised me to try the same method, with beer.

It has been an incredible success. Beer tins are scattered throughout the garden and each morning, they are filled with floating snails.

Three positive things arise from this exercise. Beer is non-toxic and once again, our garden is filled with birds, including another pair of olive thrushes.

Secondly, at least the snails leave this planet in a state of merry pixillation. In other words, the slithery creatures are as drunk as skunks.

Lastly, as is fashionable, we do a little spread betting among our friends on the number of snails falling into each tin. Per day, per week.

Snails love strong beer, the light brews are not at all to their taste and they positively rave over stout.

I'm tempted to change the beers and control the odds. I mean, who would really know?

Only the snails.

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