Glossary
Afrikaans, South African English, Zulu and the odd word of Yiddish, as they turn up in the columns: the everyday vocabulary of a Johannesburg house, and later a Cape Town one. A word earns its entry by appearing in a transcribed column, so the glossary grows out of the text and never ahead of it.
Bar height is how many entries sit under each letter. Most used of the words is rand, 110 times. Categories: Afrikaans, Period reference, South African English, Yiddish, Zulu.
Afrikaans
ag Afrikaans 36× in 35 columns
An interjection of resignation, mild irritation or fondness. "Ag, shame."
Groovy movie·Holidays hardly happen·C’mon – it’s nearly Christmas, let’s have another swinging party·Every mother needs a newspaper round in her life·A fishy tale with a bite·All about camels, cogs and turkeys and other things·My daughter the fish·Every mother needs a thief in her life·Business trips are hell·No beating about the bush·When the phantom bomber tries to strike·If food be the music of love, eat on·Who's hanging up on life?·Memories are made of evenings like this·If the cap fits, steal it·Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived·British hack blasphemed noble ritual·Romance sparkles – and dims·Cutting down trees isn't the only way to calm down·Everyone trying to be someone else on Cape beaches·Love at first flutter in Klein Karoo’s Cango Valley·Naturally, Prince Charles and I talked hydrangeas·Vinning is vot counts, and our Boks did so in style·The multitudes left us mauled, bruised – and grateful·Don't camp if you're a wet, it's only for the foolhardy·Ain't no place like spunky Johannesburg today·Rambo Carol flexes muscles and vanquishes her foes·Ma needs her car in a hurry down here on Earth·When you croodle, you’ve moved beyond cuddling·Yes, mom, God should have been a woman·Politically correct language·Yankee grandchild’s biltong delights·Buying a one way ticket to my dreams·A little perfection can go a long way·Beneficial roll of the dice in sleepy dorp
biltong Afrikaans 65× in 28 columns
Air-dried, spiced, salted meat. Not jerky, and South Africans will explain why at length.
Blame it all on Schuyler·Sad lament of a dried-out drudge·A ball by any other game·There's nothing like a good chew·Mystery and intrigue on the Drakensberg Express·Gerrie for Prime Minister·The day Walter curled up and died at Satara·The ultimate civilised breakfast, SA style·Braving the depths of life in a wetsuit·Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived·Thermal pants his bottom line·Who says it’s just a game?·Oh boy, mom remembered the blatjang·A smack on the kisser for the New South Africa·There are absolutely no flies on the Elixir of Life·Minor disasters put everything into perspective·When a syringa twig does the job better, use it...·Packing with a spouse not a bonding experience ...·Next century will be good for women and my Maya·They really don’t make things the way they used to·Who is this amazing cook and whiz with the vacuum?·Lazar of Arabia, and the groin pain was worth it·Just how did we survive with only soap and water?·Yankee grandchild’s biltong delights·Three down and only one to go ...·Good times, bad times in a heartbeat·The land of milk and honey ... but no biltong·Die Bleddy Boom
bobotie Afrikaans 1× in 1 column
Curried mince baked under a savoury custard, with bay leaves laid on top.
boerewors Afrikaans 103× in 47 columns
Literally "farmer's sausage". A long coil of coarsely minced beef spiced with coriander, cloves and nutmeg, grilled over the braai.
Braais — or who burned the wors?·In the swim of things·In the bush with the terrors·When boerewors is the bane of life·Strange things happen in the dark·A ball by any other game·Fasten your helmets and your false teeth·Holidays hardly happen·Battle of the boerewors·Pap and boerewors for swimming Moms·Mystery and intrigue on the Drakensberg Express·Never give up in a tight spot·Gerrie for Prime Minister·Every mother should have her day·It’s spring and sex is in the air·Boerewors will overcome·If food be the music of love, eat on·Boerewors is the bane of my life·Hooray, it's happy holidays again·The ultimate civilised breakfast, SA style·We've been harbouring a friendly alien·Trapped with a teenage daughter·Die rubriek is ook in Afrikaans beskikbaar ...·Flushed with success in toiletry trade·Joining the club in university of life·Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived·Thermal pants his bottom line·The day my daughter turned into a swan·The "Joys" of Camping·Just keep the braai smoke off the TV screen·British hack blasphemed noble ritual·Oh boy, mom remembered the blatjang·A smack on the kisser for the New South Africa·Sunset call for camping's elite·Naturally, Prince Charles and I talked hydrangeas·Ain't no place like spunky Johannesburg today·Next century will be good for women and my Maya·New Year's Eve·As the wors sizzles, where did Renata spend Easter?·Who is this amazing cook and whiz with the vacuum?·Lazar of Arabia, and the groin pain was worth it·The Generation Gap·My ‘ubuntu braai’ idea sadly went down in flames·Yes, mom, God should have been a woman·Three down and only one to go ...·Supermarket shopping the new warfare·Die Bleddy Boom
boet Afrikaans 4× in 3 columns
Brother, and a friendly way to address a man. It reaches the archive only inside a name, Uncle Boet.
Happy Father's Day to you·Every father deserves his day·Never mind the lumps in the jam — it’s the thought that counts
braai Afrikaans 51× in 29 columns
A barbecue: the fire, the meat and the whole social occasion at once. Not a verb one uses lightly.
Braais — or who burned the wors?·Who hates Gertrude Ginkel?·In the swim of things·So who said parties are such fun?·In the bush with the terrors·Supermother rides again·Battle of the boerewors·When the cops caught the tunny run home·Every mother has a cross to — bear some are heavier than others·They call it high-flying living·The Great Trek strikes again·The day Walter curled up and died at Satara·Matric’s killing me! I just can’t stand the strain!·Never mind the lumps in the jam — it’s the thought that counts·Boerewors will overcome·So, who needs to Loop a Star?·So, what's a lion or two?·The "Joys" of Camping·Just keep the braai smoke off the TV screen·British hack blasphemed noble ritual·Sunset call for camping's elite·The multitudes left us mauled, bruised – and grateful·As the wors sizzles, where did Renata spend Easter?·Who is this amazing cook and whiz with the vacuum?·My ‘ubuntu braai’ idea sadly went down in flames·Yes, mom, God should have been a woman·Sometimes it helps to make a real stink·Three down and only one to go ...·It all began when I was a birthday gift
braaivleis Afrikaans 4× in 4 columns
Literally grill-meat: the barbecue itself and the meal round it. The Greenside swimming team held one in the back of her car.
Braais — or who burned the wors?·Supermother rides again·British hack blasphemed noble ritual·Who is this amazing cook and whiz with the vacuum?
bredie Afrikaans 12× in 2 columns
A stew; the waterblommetjie version is made with water flowers and mutton.
So who needs romance on St Valentine's Day?·How not to get into a stew
doek Afrikaans 5× in 5 columns
A headscarf, knotted at the back. Part of Jamie's disguise as an Australian exchange student.
Naughty, naked and oh so nice·Christmas comes but once a year – thank heavens·It’s not junk, it’s our history·Some dags cakked under the strine·'Goud-gevaar' as Kiwis grab the SA mealie market
donner Afrikaans 3× in 2 columns
To thrash. Literally "to thunder", and used as a threat at rugby grounds and in general.
dop Afrikaans 3× in 3 columns
A tot, a drink. Here a dop of coffee and brandy, drunk to a flock of shoots.
It’s spring and sex is in the air·Gardening tips stink·It’s enough to make you ask what’s in a name
gesluit Afrikaans 1× in 1 column
Closed. The word on five of the six post office cubicles.
ja Afrikaans 38× in 34 columns
Yes.
1982 — the year of the mole cricket·Holidays hardly happen·So who's got time to live these days?·So who said that naked wasn't nice?·So who needs to speak English these days?·Every mother needs a newspaper round in her life·They call it high-flying living·Fun in the sun — or when holidays happily happen·When jogging goes to Carol’s head·All about camels, cogs and turkeys and other things·Raindrops keep falling on my head·The day Walter curled up and died at Satara·It’s spring and sex is in the air·When life is just a bowl of kumquats·When the phantom bomber tries to strike·So, what's a lion or two?·Boris was Hugo looking for love·Oh boy, mom remembered the blatjang·Planet America is a wonder to behold·Home alone at night can be an alarming experience·Exhaustedly talking my way into the New SA·Naturally, Prince Charles and I talked hydrangeas·Vinning is vot counts, and our Boks did so in style·Don't camp if you're a wet, it's only for the foolhardy·Ain't no place like spunky Johannesburg today·Rambo Carol flexes muscles and vanquishes her foes·Ma needs her car in a hurry down here on Earth·When you croodle, you’ve moved beyond cuddling·Yes, mom, God should have been a woman·Yankee grandchild’s biltong delights·Buying a one way ticket to my dreams·A little perfection can go a long way·Die Bleddy Boom·The Parrot
kaal Afrikaans 3× in 1 column
Naked. The joke buried in "Kaalburg", the author's proposed nudist metropolis.
kinderspeletjies Afrikaans 1× in 1 column
Children's games; child's play. What running South Africa would be, next to running the Lazar household.
koeksister Afrikaans 7× in 5 columns
A plaited doughnut deep-fried and drowned in cold syrup, eaten with a napkin and no dignity.
If food be the music of love, eat on·Memories are made of evenings like this·Die rubriek is ook in Afrikaans beskikbaar ...·Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived·Camping out for an ID and passing for ‘coloured’
kraal Afrikaans 7× in 5 columns
A livestock enclosure, or a homestead built around one. Carol once pitched a tent in the manure paddock of one.
And the turkey came too·The "Joys" of Camping·Sunset call for camping's elite·Not out of my tree, just the opposite·Josias the kraal manure spreader knows his toes
mielie Afrikaans 38× in 15 columns
Maize. Mielie-pap is the stiff porridge made from it, and a national staple.
Fasten your helmets and your false teeth·Pap and boerewors for swimming Moms·So who needs Rod Stewart and a flashy old diamond?·When Carol goes into battle dressed to kill·Poor Dubowitz bites the dust·Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived·Raisins are tasty, but children are more filling·The gift in pink: chicken manure·Planet America is a wonder to behold·If only the ghost of old Hog would rise up and bite·Army surplus store proved to be accommodating·The multitudes left us mauled, bruised – and grateful·Cricket, mealies and joy of being mother-in-law-to-be·'Goud-gevaar' as Kiwis grab the SA mealie market·The Parrot
mieliepap Afrikaans 3× in 3 columns
Maize porridge, stiff enough to eat with the fingers, served with gravy. From mielie, maize, and pap, porridge.
Supermother rides again·If food be the music of love, eat on·British hack blasphemed noble ritual
moor Afrikaans 2× in 1 column
To murder. The last third of the crowd's advice at Loftus: Skop hom! Donner hom! Moor hom!
mossie Afrikaans 3× in 3 columns
A sparrow. One of the birds depositing their droppings all over the show.
They call it high-flying living·Cutting down trees isn't the only way to calm down·CD-Roms way beyond the ken of anyone over 4
oom Afrikaans 1× in 1 column
Uncle; also a familiar or respectful way to address an older man.
ou Afrikaans 1× in 1 column
A bloke, a chap. Usually with something else attached: the safari-suited ou with the comb in his sock.
Ouma Afrikaans 17× in 10 columns
Grandmother. What the Lazar children call their father's mother.
Of plague ... and things·Facing up to the bare facts of rhythm in the old genes·Boerewors will overcome·There's a mini-millionaire in our backyard·What every good wife should know - or how to have a happy marriage·So, what's a lion or two?·Cricket, mealies and joy of being mother-in-law-to-be·Maya is Born·Well hello, Maya, it's nice to know you're here at last·Noo-Noo and the shosholoza angel
padkos Afrikaans 4× in 4 columns
Literally "road food": what you pack to eat in the car, and the reason the upholstery is sticky.
Heaven help me·The Great Trek strikes again·The day Walter curled up and died at Satara·Up, up and away in a plastic bubble
pap Afrikaans 6× in 5 columns
Stiff maize porridge, the staple. "Like pap without sauce" is Carol on a life without South African food.
Fasten your helmets and your false teeth·Pap and boerewors for swimming Moms·Die rubriek is ook in Afrikaans beskikbaar ...·Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived·Next century will be good for women and my Maya
platteland Afrikaans 1× in 1 column
The country districts, flat and far from the cities.
praat Afrikaans 2× in 2 columns
To talk. "Nobody can praat cactus in quite the same way," of Pieter Dirk Uys.
Ewe ... hayi ... and a few clicks are just the trick·Politically correct language
skattie Afrikaans 3× in 3 columns
Term of endearment, roughly sweetheart; literally a little treasure.
If the cap fits, steal it·British hack blasphemed noble ritual·Everyone trying to be someone else on Cape beaches
skop Afrikaans 3× in 2 columns
Kick. One third of the crowd's advice at Loftus: Skop hom! Donner hom!
skottelbraai Afrikaans 2× in 2 columns
A gas-fired steel wok on legs, cooked on outdoors. Breakfast under the oak tree while the house was uninhabitable.
Trapped with a teenage daughter·Joining the club in university of life
sosatie Afrikaans 1× in 1 column
A kebab; used figuratively in the phrase “sossatie eyes”.
spanspek Afrikaans 9× in 4 columns
A sweet melon: what the rest of the world calls a cantaloupe. From Spaanse spek, literally "Spanish bacon".
It shouldn't happen to anyone·So who needs a hog and a hyena in their lives?·The day my daughter turned into a swan·Mental quarks about carrots
stinkblaar Afrikaans 3× in 3 columns
Thorn apple, a rank-smelling weed. Its pungent fumes are one of the recommendations of camping.
Total onslaught all over again·The "Joys" of Camping·Sunset call for camping's elite
stoep Afrikaans 21× in 17 columns
The verandah or covered porch running along the front of a house, and the proper place to sit.
Every household drudge should have her day — but when?·Strike of the unpaid domestic engineers·Hamburgers still beat slow dancing when you’re a kid·Raindrops keep falling on my head·Every mother should have a Jody Scheckter in her life·No beating about the bush·We're all going on a cosy holiday·So who needs a hog and a hyena in their lives?·Flushed with success in toiletry trade·Total onslaught all over again·Just keep the braai smoke off the TV screen·Forget the pyramids – sex is the way to grow old·Who says our animals don't have spiritual souls?·Laying the foundations for loving thy neighbour·CD-Roms way beyond the ken of anyone over 4·Cricket, mealies and joy of being mother-in-law-to-be·All at sea (for a day) as we get shipshape
storietjie Afrikaans 2× in 1 column
A little story.
tannie Afrikaans 5× in 4 columns
Auntie. Used for any older woman, not only a relative; here the one next door in sponge-rollers and a shocking pink nightie.
Strange things happen in the dark·How not to get into a stew·So, who needs to Loop a Star?·Three down and only one to go ...
veld Afrikaans 8× in 8 columns
The open grassland of the interior. The Highveld is the high plateau around Johannesburg.
Happy Father's Day to you·In the bush with the terrors·Strange things happen in the dark·Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived·Soon we'll be gobbling Karoo 'land langoustines'·Solly's shack shelters hope for all South Africans·Listen up Mallett! My old mom has some ideas·Three tortoises
veldskoen Afrikaans 3× in 2 columns
A rough suede or leather shoe, worn until it gives out. Literally "field shoe".
A louse in time saves nine·A dose of reverse-Viagra might go down well
vetkoek Afrikaans 1× in 1 column
Fried dough, named among the foods cooked by Carol’s grandmother.
vrot Afrikaans 4× in 4 columns
Rotten, off. Used of the bananas in a box of bad shopping.
The ice-cream cone syndrome of life·Gardening tips stink·There are absolutely no flies on the Elixir of Life·Sometimes it helps to make a real stink
waterblommetjie Afrikaans 14× in 2 columns
Cape pondweed, the flower buds stewed into a Western Cape bredie; literally a little water flower.
How not to get into a stew·The ultimate civilised breakfast, SA style
wors Afrikaans 45× in 34 columns
Sausage; short for boerewors, and used interchangeably with it.
Braais — or who burned the wors?·In the swim of things·In the bush with the terrors·When boerewors is the bane of life·Strange things happen in the dark·A ball by any other game·Fasten your helmets and your false teeth·Holidays hardly happen·Battle of the boerewors·Gerrie for Prime Minister·Every mother should have her day·It’s spring and sex is in the air·Boerewors will overcome·If food be the music of love, eat on·Boerewors is the bane of my life·The ultimate civilised breakfast, SA style·Trapped with a teenage daughter·Flushed with success in toiletry trade·Joining the club in university of life·Thermal pants his bottom line·Just keep the braai smoke off the TV screen·Oh boy, mom remembered the blatjang·Ain't no place like spunky Johannesburg today·Next century will be good for women and my Maya·New Year's Eve·As the wors sizzles, where did Renata spend Easter?·Who is this amazing cook and whiz with the vacuum?·Lazar of Arabia, and the groin pain was worth it·The Generation Gap·My ‘ubuntu braai’ idea sadly went down in flames·Yes, mom, God should have been a woman·Three down and only one to go ...·Supermarket shopping the new warfare·Die Bleddy Boom
Period reference
crimplene Period reference 4× in 4 columns
A crease-resistant polyester, ubiquitous in the 1970s. Worn with curlers, in scarlet, by the owner of a cafe called Te Huur.
Heaven help me·Mother's Day comes once a year — it's not enough·Pap and boerewors for swimming Moms·Every mother has a cross to — bear some are heavier than others
Currie Cup Period reference 2× in 2 columns
South Africa's domestic rugby competition, shown live to homesick expatriates in England.
Congrats, for thousands of us, might be in order·Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived
Van der Merwe Period reference 7× in 7 columns
The dim Afrikaner of South African joke-telling, the way an Irishman functions in English jokes.
Braais — or who burned the wors?·Fish are pretty foxy·I am a tree-trunk, Omo sofa·Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived·So, what's a lion or two?·Adverts' slogans power up our New South Africa·Yankee grandchild’s biltong delights
South African English
atchar South African English 2× in 2 columns
A hot pickle of mango or lime, from the Indian communities of Natal and the Transvaal. On Ralph's list of things to post to London.
Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived·Oh boy, mom remembered the blatjang
bleddy South African English 4× in 2 columns
Bloody, as Johanna Cupido says it: Die Bleddy Boom.
blerry South African English 3× in 3 columns
Bloody, softened. Blerry cellphones, a blerry block off.
Heaven help me·Merry Christmas to you too, Mr Cohen·Guns & Mobile Phones
broekies South African English 4× in 3 columns
Knickers. Diminutive of the Afrikaans broek, trousers.
When the phantom bomber tries to strike·Noo-Noo and the shosholoza angel·Is this a secret weapon, or what?
cooldrink South African English 3× in 3 columns
A fizzy drink of any kind. A crate of them went into the Kombi with twelve children and the labrador.
Heaven help me·So who invented New Year?·I used the word lemming advisedly
dabchick South African English 2× in 2 columns
A small single-handed sailing dinghy, designed in South Africa and sailed by generations of children. Carried on top of the windsurfers on the way to the sea.
geyser South African English 3× in 2 columns
A domestic hot-water heater, the thing other countries call a boiler. Hers was 80 years old and leaked into the kitchen ceiling.
When stately homes crumble·Taking a bath with the neighbours saves water
goon South African English 1× in 1 column
A marble. Not, as Carol points out, a man in a floppy suit who tells jokes.
grobbel South African English 2× in 1 column
A marble, and the latest in-thing in Johannesburg in February 1980. "Has anyone a grobbel or two to spare?"
howzit South African English 4× in 3 columns
Hello. A greeting that expects no answer, and in Carol's use the sound of a Johannesburg holiday arriving at the coast: "Hello, howzit, Doll?"
Hooray, it's happy holidays again·Say a swift Howzit! on your teledivellicater·A dose of reverse-Viagra might go down well
inspan South African English 2× in 2 columns
To harness, and so to press into service. From the Afrikaans inspan, to yoke oxen to a wagon.
A murderer or saint?·Every mother needs a full stomach in her life
inyala South African English 1× in 1 column
The nyala antelope, in its Zulu form; seen in the Kruger Park between the steenboks and the duikers.
jol South African English 6× in 6 columns
To party, or to knock about enjoying yourself. Nicky was happier in the bush of Botswana than jolling around shopping malls.
Parties in the sticks·So who needs to speak English these days?·Who said running is fun?·The day my daughter turned into a swan·Touts at robots help usher in new SA·A mal jol in the mall to mark millennium’s end
just now South African English 4× in 4 columns
Confusingly, not now. Depending on tone it means shortly, or a while ago, but almost never this instant.
So who’s busy?·Raindrops keep falling on my head·Who says it’s just a game?·On a countdown to fall-out
khakibos South African English 1× in 1 column
A rank weed (Tagetes minuta) that takes over any patch left alone; Afrikaans khaki plus bos, bush.
kingklip South African English 3× in 3 columns
A firm white eel-like fish off the Cape coast, and the standard Sunday fish. From the Afrikaans koningklip, king of the rocks.
Dead fish don't talk back·Who is this amazing cook and whiz with the vacuum?·Yes, mom, God should have been a woman
Kombi South African English 16× in 12 columns
The Volkswagen minibus, and the vehicle in which other people's children are carried.
Parties in the sticks·Every household drudge should have her day — but when?·So who said parties are such fun?·In the bush with the terrors·Strange things happen in the dark·So who invented New Year?·And the turkey came too·Holidays hardly happen·When the cops caught the tunny run home·The Great Trek strikes again·There’s nothing quite like camping·She’s just a talking skunk
Krugerrand South African English 8× in 8 columns
The gold coin, minted from 1967 and a target of sanctions, which is why Australia might reject them.
Every mother deserves one·A toothy tale about headgear·So who did what to whom in Plet?·Mystery and intrigue on the Drakensberg Express·Needed now — inflatable mum for deflated dad·Never give up in a tight spot·Thermal pants his bottom line·Some dags cakked under the strine
kugel South African English 2× in 2 columns
A Johannesburg Jewish woman of a particular and much-parodied style. From the Yiddish for a sweet baked pudding.
Oh death where is thy sting?·Hooray, it's happy holidays again
lift scheme South African English 20× in 17 columns
The rota by which parents share the school run. Losing a child from it, or coming home with somebody else's, is a standing hazard.
Flush your worries away — ask the kids·Who said Valentines were soppy?·Every household drudge should have her day — but when?·A little flu goes a long way·Mothers of the world unite·Supermother rides again·You're in the army now·I always wanted to be a bat·Sex is here to stay·Hey! Watchit Greek islands — here comes Momma Lazar!·Life’s just an old spark plug anyway ...·Oh ring where is thy ding a ling a ling?·Business trips are hell·Raisins are tasty, but children are more filling·Matric blues and a new era·Treasure the teachers - most of them are gems·I still hate guns, but I’m not joining the chicken run
matric South African English 48× in 22 columns
The final year of secondary school and the exam that ends it. The matric dance is the formal ball that follows: the local prom.
Sometimes, the bald truth hurts more than anything·The ice-cream cone syndrome of life·Needed now — inflatable mum for deflated dad·A murderer or saint?·Life is just a bar of wormy chocolate·Happiness is when your son has a date for the matric dance·It’s spring and sex is in the air·Matric’s killing me! I just can’t stand the strain!·Exams are hell on the cells·Help! I've got a teenage daughter·Ice-cream cone syndrome is incurable·Full marks for matric tact and tactics·Raisins are tasty, but children are more filling·Sons, daughters, decisions and dual standards·Blame it all on spinach·On a countdown to fall-out·The day my daughter turned into a swan·Parenthood’s prosaic myths·Matric blues and a new era·Making a mother out of Leonardo·Touts at robots help usher in new SA·Going the full Monty in hair dyes
Medem South African English 9× in 3 columns
Madam, as the drain man said it at the door: "Heppy Klissimus. Medem.".
Heppy Klissimus·Supermother rides again·Heppy Klissimus brings out the dustbin men
milkie South African English 1× in 1 column
A marble, opaque and milky. Not a cow of a kind.
mopane worm South African English 5× in 5 columns
The caterpillar of the emperor moth, dried and eaten. Shared with the Lazars beside a Botswana road while they waited for spare parts.
Soon we'll be gobbling Karoo 'land langoustines'·There's a great new way of meeting people in SA·New Year's Eve·Maya·Wish list for the new millennium
naartjie South African English 3× in 3 columns
A soft loose-skinned citrus, the tangerine. Used here as a colour: the Moby Dick's hull is a faded naartjie orange.
Fish are pretty foxy·Up, up and away in a plastic bubble·The ultimate civilised breakfast, SA style
paw paw South African English 9× in 9 columns
The papaya. Its discarded skins made the compost heap look most colourful.
Where have all the dumb kids gone?·And a happy Christmas to you too·Battle of the boerewors·They say a little bit of integration goes a long way·Merry Christmas to you too, Mr Cohen·Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived·It's so easy to adapt to life in an island paradise·Forget soaps, just switch to pre-election politicians·Yankee grandchild’s biltong delights
pawpaw South African English 1× in 1 column
Papaya. Soaked in brandy and left at the bottom of the garden, it is also the rat catcher's Christmas advice.
pinotage South African English 1× in 1 column
South Africa's own red grape, a 1925 cross of pinot noir and cinsaut. One of the wines she enjoyed at the Nederburg auction.
Plet South African English 21× in 5 columns
Plettenberg Bay, on the Cape south coast, shortened as South Africans shorten it.
So who's afraid of crocs?·The ice-cream cone syndrome of life·C’mon – it’s nearly Christmas, let’s have another swinging party·So who did what to whom in Plet?·Hooray, it's happy holidays again
polony South African English 5× in 4 columns
Bologna sausage, pale pink and sold by the metre. A Goldenberg's Kosher Polony truck was parked beside them at the drive-in.
Naughty, naked and oh so nice·So who invented New Year?·Scuba divers do it deeper·My daughter the fish
pronk South African English 2× in 2 columns
To leap stiff-legged with all four feet off the ground, as a springbok does. Candy pronked on being reunited with the children.
Revolution of the fig leaf generation·Who says it's a dog's life?
rand South African English 110× in 59 columns
The currency, introduced in 1961. R250 for a schoolboy's blazer and trousers was real money in 1988.
Heaven help me·Oh death where is thy sting?·Life is one big yoyo·Boating's for the birds·Blame it all on Schuyler·Culture vulture·Wine is good for chilblains·Holidays hardly happen·A book, a bough, a glass of wine and that’s it·So who needs Disney World when we’ve got the Rand Show?·The day Walter curled up and died at Satara·Up, up and away in a plastic bubble·Let it all hang out·Life is just a bar of wormy chocolate·A little home cooking to soup-up Zola·Heppy Klissimus to you, too·When the stay-fit freak strikes again·Boerewors will overcome·So, who needs to Loop a Star?·We're all going on a cosy holiday·Uteri for hire·Naked is nice . . . so they say·If the cap fits, steal it·On the slippery slope to fame·I'm the Queen of the crumbling castle·Devastating dialogue at the Dinner Drama·Down Under wives pant for pay; here it’s zilch·Say a swift Howzit! on your teledivellicater·Birthday greetings ‘Kos’ a fortune·Some fishy tales of feminine prowess·I'm not hogging it over the jet set·Congrats, for thousands of us, might be in order·Joining the club in university of life·On a countdown to fall-out·Heppy Klissimus brings out the dustbin men·Small things that shock from a dizzy height·Beating the gym-workout syndrome·Hellish end to life for an unknown teenager·Touts at robots help usher in new SA·If only the ghost of old Hog would rise up and bite·Empty schools are an instant education solution·Minor disasters put everything into perspective·When a syringa twig does the job better, use it...·Hearing reflects horrors but also a chance for hope·Putting on a charitable face for the season·Desperately seeking your ever-so-lost beloved car·Rambo Carol flexes muscles and vanquishes her foes·The break up of Spice Girls may have sunk our rand·Hotstuff Lazar cc will take a wait off your mind·Sea creature now sports a funky pair of spectacles·So, what's in a name? Ask the friendly Americans·Richmonds are aberrations·Troglodyte development planning for East Rand·Buying a one way ticket to my dreams·Secondhand Norman storms along·Three down and only one to go ...·Good times, bad times in a heartbeat·JR now playing a tune for Gershwin·Where do missing hubcaps go?
robot South African English 11× in 10 columns
A traffic light. Nobody in South Africa calls it anything else.
Heppy Klissimus·Life is one big yoyo·Every household drudge should have her day — but when?·Bite the dust baby, cos here I come·Business is hell·The dread K53 drives you mad·Touts at robots help usher in new SA·Ain't no place like spunky Johannesburg today·Koopsiekte inevitable in shopping malls of the US·Good times, bad times in a heartbeat
shame South African English 7× in 7 columns
An expression of warmth or sympathy rather than pity. "Ag shame" can greet a new baby or a broken leg with equal sincerity.
Business is hell·Mother's Day comes once a year — it's not enough·Business trips are hell·When the phantom bomber tries to strike·Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived·Boris was Hugo looking for love·The multitudes left us mauled, bruised – and grateful
shebeen South African English 2× in 2 columns
An unlicensed township bar. Where Carol suspects her husband's R25 ended up.
shongalolo South African English 2× in 1 column
A millipede, from the Zulu ishongololo. Thick, rounded and hundred-legged; what was dropped into her lap was none of these, which was the trouble.
smokie South African English 1× in 1 column
A marble, smoke-grey. Not your mother-in-law for dinner.
Std 10 South African English 1× in 1 column
Standard 10, the final school year, matric. The label in the superbly-cut jacket one mother walked off in.
takkies South African English 32× in 29 columns
Canvas sports shoes. Trainers. What Carol was wearing, and nothing else, when she waved her children off at Jan Smuts.
Jogging's for the birds·Heppy Klissimus·Where have all the dumb kids gone?·Boating's for the birds·Eat your heart out Jackie O·So who says fresh air is healthy?·Strike of the unpaid domestic engineers·Revolution of the fig leaf generation·The night we saw the Pope and the peppermints tasted funny·Meet my daughter the plant monitor·Hey! Watchit Greek islands — here comes Momma Lazar!·Gerrie for Prime Minister·Come and have a wild experience in Pretoria·Help, help, there’s a hell’s angel trying to get out·Fun in the sun — or when holidays happily happen·Beauty takes to the bush·Poor Dubowitz bites the dust·When the stay-fit freak strikes again·So, who needs to Loop a Star?·Ice-cream cone syndrome is incurable·Smiles grow stiff amidst all the goodwill·Thermal pants his bottom line·It’s enough to make you ask what’s in a name·Naked truth of saying goodbye·Bye-bye smelly, lovable, comical canine·Turning red after being in the pink·Minor disasters put everything into perspective·A mal jol in the mall to mark millennium’s end·The land of milk and honey ... but no biltong
toothmouse South African English 18× in 2 columns
The tooth fairy, as a mouse: Afrikaans tandmuis. Takes the tooth from under the pillow and leaves a coin. Thirty cents in 1982, which the columnist thought too generous.
The toothmouse strikes again·It's toothmouse time and the gold price is up
troopie South African English 4× in 2 columns
A conscript soldier, affectionately. What her husband was not, when she asked him for coffee in bed.
You're in the army now·Fasten your helmets and your false teeth
veggie man South African English 3× in 3 columns
The greengrocer who calls at the house with his vegetables. He is among the tradesmen who smile at you at Christmas, and hirsute in the imagined naked Parkwood of a later column.
So why don't Xmas stockings fit?·Heppy Klissimus to you, too·Naked is nice . . . so they say
Yiddish
barmitzvah Yiddish 7× in 6 columns
The coming of age of a Jewish boy at 13, and the party that follows. One of the special occasions the Lost-and-Found false teeth were kept for.
Flush your worries away — ask the kids·Life is just a set of false teeth·The silk sheet syndrome·Hark, the Jewish angel sings·The banana loaf mother strikes back·Serving up the perfect vac job
knaidel Yiddish 2× in 2 columns
A matzo-meal dumpling, poached in chicken soup. Twenty cavernous stomachs' worth.
Every mother needs a full stomach in her life·Come cast your vote for Carol's Commonwealth
schmaltzy Yiddish 2× in 2 columns
Sentimental to the point of syrup, and in Carol's use a compliment: a schmaltzy, five-star hotel.
Every mother needs a thief in her life·We're all going on a cosy holiday
Shabbat Yiddish 1× in 1 column
The Jewish sabbath, Friday evening to Saturday night, which in this house collided with the swimming pool drop and the folk-dancing pick-up.
Zulu
sawubona Zulu 1× in 1 column
Hello, to one person. Literally "we see you".
shosholoza Zulu 2× in 1 column
The song, taken up at gatherings and rugby grounds, that a magenta angel sang as a farewell in Buffalo.
yebo Zulu 3× in 2 columns
Yes. One of the three words a two-year-old in Buffalo learnt from a picture book.
More info on world’s first flush toilet·Noo-Noo and the shosholoza angel
Things, brands & institutions
Objects of status, breeds of dog, papers, and one august body of worldly strippers.
Absent Without Leave 1× in 1 column
What she was reported, being locked in the lavatory, until a dashing rifleman heard her.
Adam and the Ants 2× in 2 columns
Playing at full blast, one of the several musics going at once.
The Liz Taylor of Parkwood·If music be the food of love . . . starve
Adam's Antman 1× in 1 column
What the one who came to blows with the Beatle freak was.
African National Canines 1× in 1 column
The ANC the dog is a member of, as in African National Canines.
Afrikaans 38× in 23 columns
The language. He was busy with Latin and Afrikaans, so he commissioned Nicky to draw.
When parents and teachers meet — life’s always exciting·So who needs romance on St Valentine's Day?·Who said life was just one big hoot?·All about camels, cogs and turkeys and other things·To hunt a man you need a drip-dry wig·How not to get into a stew·Matric’s killing me! I just can’t stand the strain!·Exams are hell on the cells·The ultimate civilised breakfast, SA style·Birthday greetings ‘Kos’ a fortune·Die rubriek is ook in Afrikaans beskikbaar ...·It’s hard to live a little if you can’t let go a little·Born to shop – in Istanbul Grand Bazaar·Exhaustedly talking my way into the New SA·'Crazee' that a lack of a 'kick hair' lost us Test·Ewe ... hayi ... and a few clicks are just the trick·Schools crisis a threat to all in SA·Antjie's stunning book convinced me SA will work·Rambo Carol flexes muscles and vanquishes her foes·Koopsiekte inevitable in shopping malls of the US·Next century will be good for women and my Maya·New ID Books·Noo-Noo and the shosholoza angel
Ag Pleez Daddy 1× in 1 column
Jeremy Taylor's song, which she grew up to the strains of.
Air Force 1× in 1 column
The army and the Air Force excelled themselves, and mounted an offensive.
All-bran 4× in 4 columns
The more nutritious and functional one, being ignored.
Common census bites the dust·Happy Father's Day to you·Every father deserves his day·So who says fresh air is healthy?
Alliance Francaise 1× in 1 column
Named in the column.
Every mother has a cross to — bear some are heavier than others
ANC 16× in 8 columns
The third of the three.
Boerewors is the bane of my life·I'm not hogging it over the jet set·The dread K53 drives you mad·Exhaustedly talking my way into the New SA·Vinning is vot counts, and our Boks did so in style·Who could afford to live to the ripe age of 309?·Forget soaps, just switch to pre-election politicians·Nisson Mandra
Arabian Nights 2× in 2 columns
Room enough to accommodate the entire cast of it.
So who needs sleep?·The land of milk and honey ... but no biltong
Arthur Murray 1× in 1 column
The dancing school where she planned to have fun.
Australian Rotary 1× in 1 column
Whose exchange student they were asked to host for three months, and accepted.
Barcelona Games 1× in 1 column
The path to success at them, assuming we participated.
Basel University 1× in 1 column
Where the Elixir of Life came from.
Battle of Waterloo 4× in 4 columns
Which the offensive operation made pale into insignificance.
You're in the army now·When Carol goes into battle dressed to kill·Every mother needs a thief in her life·Parenthood’s prosaic myths
Beach Boys 2× in 2 columns
Exercising on the lawn in time to them.
Beatles 6× in 6 columns
One of four tapedecks shrieking at once when the sons came home.
If music be the food of love . . . starve·Every mother should have her day·Meet my son the rock star·Every mother needs a full stomach in her life·Next century will be good for women and my Maya·I miss our fluffy little scrap of energy
Beeld 5× in 1 column
Fielding eight teams in the fun run, each team of its own.
Beethoven's Fifth Symphony 2× in 2 columns
The only thing matching her husband's stomach rumble.
So who said fat was fun?·If music be the food of love . . . starve
Belgian Orange Free State 2× in 1 column
What Belofs stands for. They are renting out videos.
Bently 1× in 1 column
The tent. A stout-hearted well-faded khaki ex-army cottage tent that sleeps 54, takes three days to erect and needs six people to lift it from car to ground.
Betty Ford Foundation 1× in 1 column
The Betty Ford Foundation for Drug and Alcohol Abuse, where a family holiday could land you.
Betty Ford Foundation for Drug and Alcohol Abuse 1× in 1 column
What this family needs, said one of them.
Bill Cosby Show 1× in 1 column
Glued to the TV and to it, and all the hats rustled.
Black Students' Association 1× in 1 column
Another on the same list.
Blah Bar 1× in 1 column
Named with Planet Hollywood and St Elmo's.
Bloodle 1× in 1 column
A rare mixture of boxer and poodle. The author's own coinage, and her own dog.
Bloomingdales 2× in 1 column
Where she found it, after three hours of searching.
Body Language 3× in 2 columns
The emporium of beauty that promised a new revitalised me.
Every fried egg will have its day·The banana loaf mother strikes back
Boer War 6× in 6 columns
When the thing last saw duty, or thereabouts.
The naked truth·The Liz Taylor of Parkwood·Stubby’s farewell a pulverised garden·Parenthood’s prosaic myths·Not out of my tree, just the opposite·Where do missing hubcaps go?
Boksburg Follies 1× in 1 column
Dancers included in Carol’s extravagant Father’s Day breakfast plan.
Bushbaby 6× in 1 column
The signature on the lonely hearts advertisement from the Okavango: status irrelevant, recent photograph please.
Calvin Klein 5× in 2 columns
Her Calvin Klein look-alike baggies, left to her.
Naked truth of saying goodbye·Sea creature now sports a funky pair of spectacles
Camembert 7× in 6 columns
Cheese; and, unwrapped, the author.
Mystery and intrigue on the Drakensberg Express·Hooray, it's happy holidays again·Naked is nice . . . so they say·Oh boy, mom remembered the blatjang·Camping out for an ID and passing for ‘coloured’·Sometimes it helps to make a real stink
CAPAB 1× in 1 column
The Cape Performing Arts Board, whose ballet company staged the Autumn season. Set on the page as COPAB.
Cape Coloured 2× in 1 column
One of the classifications printed with a code in the identity documents she lists.
Cape Town University 3× in 3 columns
Where the sailing was, after it was abandoned.
It could probably happen to anyone·Braving the depths of life in a wetsuit·Surprise visit cleaned us out
Carol's Car Cleaning Cloths 2× in 1 column
What she will market them as, and they could make a fortune.
Carol's Commonwealth 4× in 2 columns
Nicky's name for the family party. Liquorice wagged her tail; she liked the name.
Come cast your vote for Carol's Commonwealth·Hotstuff Lazar cc will take a wait off your mind
Chanel 6× in 5 columns
What she sprinkled herself with before lying down.
Every household drudge should have her day — but when?·Happy Father's Day to you·So who did what to whom in Plet?·When the cops caught the tunny run home·I am a tree-trunk, Omo sofa
Christian Students' Association 1× in 1 column
Another on the same list.
Christmas 184× in 39 columns
The season the column returns to for twenty years, from Heppy Klissimus onwards.
Parties in the sticks·Heppy Klissimus·Of plague ... and things·Uncle Walter in long-Johns·Sometimes, the bald truth hurts more than anything·When boerewors is the bane of life·So why don't Xmas stockings fit?·And a happy Christmas to you too·A Christmas tale·So who needs a dreamhouse?·Christmas comes but once a year — just as well, my feet can't take the strain·Well, hello Mother Christmas!·The night we saw the Pope and the peppermints tasted funny·Christmas comes but once a year – thank heavens·C’mon – it’s nearly Christmas, let’s have another swinging party·Things aren’t what they used to be – or what they should be for that matter·So who did what to whom in Plet?·Motherhood — it’s a great big crying rip-off·The Great Trek strikes again·Fun in the sun — or when holidays happily happen·A fishy tale with a bite·All about camels, cogs and turkeys and other things·Heppy Klissimus to you, too·Never mind the lumps in the jam — it’s the thought that counts·Boerewors is the bane of my life·Hooray, it's happy holidays again·Men's lib could start with a little chiffon·Merry Christmas to you too, Mr Cohen·The rise and fall of a Jewish Santa·It’s hard to live a little if you can’t let go a little·Parenthood’s prosaic myths·Heppy Klissimus brings out the dustbin men·Fortunately for Livingston, I presume: it’s Christmas·Putting on a charitable face for the season·A mal jol in the mall to mark millennium’s end·Sometimes good things do happen to good people·Hello! Give a thought for the desperate·Behold, the silly season is upon us ...·Going the full Monty in hair dyes
Christmas Eve 3× in 2 columns
A small Christmas Eve party for a few of them.
Civil Defence 2× in 2 columns
Called in over Horace, along with the neighbourhood.
Coca Cola 11× in 10 columns
A 20th century Coca Cola, offered and readily accepted.
Heaven help me·Sardines in the sand·In the swim of things·A ball by any other game·So who invented New Year?·Holidays hardly happen·So who needs Disney World when we’ve got the Rand Show?·Solly's shack shelters hope for all South Africans·Hell hath no fury like those irritated by cellphones·Holed up in my underground shelter
Come All Ye Faithful 1× in 1 column
Sung at the lounge window by the first of four separate groups of dustmen.
Commanding Officer 2× in 2 columns
Who seconded the motion with true military precision.
You're in the army now·Roll out the pastry, your country needs you.
Concerned Parents Against Precocious Cosmetics Committee 1× in 1 column
Which the Lindbergs came for, of course.
Cookery and Food Association 8× in 1 column
The oldest cookery society in the country, which asked Carol to be an honorary member.
Cookery with a Connoisseur 1× in 1 column
Gloria Rootshtain's book.
Cooper's droop 3× in 3 columns
Reduced, along with the revitalised skin.
Make your ecosystem work·Strike of the unpaid domestic engineers·Help! help! I’m a prisoner in a body
Crocodile Dundee 1× in 1 column
The film. Its hats were borrowed to welcome an Australian.
Cruelty to Dumb Creatures League 1× in 1 column
Organisation represented by the caller who accuses Carol of killing garden creatures.
Cruise Lines 1× in 1 column
Who Ros Finn works for.
Current Affairs 1× in 1 column
Teeth brushed in time to it, then both effluents sluiced away.
Currie Cup 2× in 2 columns
The provincial rugby competition; a Transvaal win is what a bellow from behind the newspaper usually means.
Congrats, for thousands of us, might be in order·Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived
Cyril's Wardrobe 1× in 1 column
Johannesburg menswear shop; Arthur's suit would have looked better on the wardrobe.
Daisy 7× in 2 columns
The family Land-Rover, long-wheel base series 2A of 1952 vintage, bought the year the first son was born, painted sunshine-yellow, and sold fifteen years later.
When spare parts hardly happen·It could probably happen to anyone
Dallas 7× in 7 columns
The television programme. Watched in the moment of closeness before Uncle Walter was unmasked, and preferred to the Kinsey Report.
Uncle Walter in long-Johns·So why don't Xmas stockings fit?·So who did what to whom in Plet?·Momma is marooned on an island paradise·When a country hick takes on the USA·Lazar of Arabia, and the groin pain was worth it·JR now playing a tune for Gershwin
Dante's Inferno 1× in 1 column
Day of the Jackal 2× in 1 column
The film on television, and the half of it they came home for.
Department of Home Affairs 12× in 6 columns
Where Henry-the-Hog went to be classified, and was put down as Mixed.
We've been harbouring a friendly alien·Flushed with success in toiletry trade·Camping out for an ID and passing for ‘coloured’·A dose of reverse-Viagra might go down well·New ID Books·A little perfection can go a long way
Dexter 1× in 1 column
Small Irish cattle breed; in Johannesburg, the only cow available.
Diamonds Today 2× in 1 column
De Beers's jewellery design competition and its ball at the Market Warehouse.
Die Bleddy Boom 3× in 1 column
Johanna Cupido's name for Jonah Lomu. Hulle moet Die Bleddy Boom neutralise.
Dior 10× in 8 columns
The label on the shirt lying on the pergola while the house came apart.
When stately homes crumble·Revolution of the fig leaf generation·So who did what to whom in Plet?·Come and have a wild experience in Pretoria·Beauty takes to the bush·The ultimate civilised breakfast, SA style·Naked truth of saying goodbye·Naturally, Prince Charles and I talked hydrangeas
Dire Straits 3× in 3 columns
Excluded from the bonsai's environment.
Die rubriek is ook in Afrikaans beskikbaar ...·Democracy is a fragile plant·Hot water and a bald head
Dirty Nellie's 1× in 1 column
The pub he was phoning from. The Irish really know how.
Dog's Day 6× in 1 column
Her list of the days that might follow, the possibilities being endless.
Dreadnought Insect Killer 1× in 1 column
What the toothpaste-eating ants were meant to get.
Dubowitz 32× in 2 columns
The family car, stolen and stripped in Poor Dubowitz bites the dust.
Life’s just an old spark plug anyway ...·Poor Dubowitz bites the dust
Early Bird Bonus Prize 1× in 1 column
Of R5 000, which she would also qualify for.
Easter bunny 1× in 1 column
Played, along with angel Gabriel and Father Christmas, by every Jewish mother who ever has.
Edelkeur 1× in 1 column
Nederburg's noble late harvest, tasted along with the cabernets and pinotages.
EF-1 Alpha 3× in 1 column
The protein the fruit flies were given, not available to the public for at least 20 years.
El Al 1× in 1 column
The only airline still flying to and from Israel in January 1991.
Elliot 4× in 1 column
The reconstructed sheep's skeleton at the Greenside High open night. Large and magnificent, and licked lovingly by a gatecrashing dog.
Elvis 3× in 2 columns
A 1998 Toyota Corolla, silver and immaculate, and short of one hubcap.
Hotstuff Lazar cc will take a wait off your mind·Where do missing hubcaps go?
Encyclopaedia Britannica 1× in 1 column
Being made a way through, in the library.
Epol 1× in 1 column
South African dog food. Mahoney prefers roast chicken.
Essential Services 1× in 1 column
Only Essential Services after hours, read at least 73 times.
Ethique 2× in 1 column
Christian Dior skin-care range launched during the bush trip.
Exciting Ways With Mince Meat 1× in 1 column
Named in the column.
If you haven’t stuffed cannelloni ... you really haven’t lived
Eye in the Sky 5× in 1 column
The radio traffic reporter, speaking to his listeners below on a nippy morning.
Farming Stock 3× in 3 columns
How the Cradock advertisement signs itself, among the good things in life.
Facing up to the bare facts of rhythm in the old genes·Every mother should have her day·To hunt a man you need a drip-dry wig
Father Christmas 42× in 14 columns
Whose droppings those might be. Not Father Christmas, hey.
Parties in the sticks·Of plague ... and things·Uncle Walter in long-Johns·A Christmas tale·Christmas comes but once a year — just as well, my feet can't take the strain·Well, hello Mother Christmas!·Motherhood — it’s a great big crying rip-off·Never mind the lumps in the jam — it’s the thought that counts·The rise and fall of a Jewish Santa·Putting on a charitable face for the season·Sometimes good things do happen to good people·Hello! Give a thought for the desperate·Behold, the silly season is upon us ...·Going the full Monty in hair dyes
Father's Day 31× in 5 columns
"Does Father's Day mean we choose a new father?" asked her only daughter.
Happy Father's Day to you·Every father deserves his day·Needed now — inflatable mum for deflated dad·Every dog should have his day·For the father who has everything
Ferragamo 2× in 2 columns
The shoes she fell backwards into, arranged enticingly among silk scarves and dainty hats.
So who said that naked wasn't nice?·Every mother has a cross to — bear some are heavier than others
Flabless at Forty 1× in 1 column
The book club ordered 14 copies, one for each member.
Flopsie Bunnie 1× in 1 column
Replaced at the top of the pops by the Village People.
Ford Prefect 1× in 1 column
The 1963 car Carol came complete with, and part of the bargain.
Foreign Affairs 1× in 1 column
The Minister of, to whom the letter of complaint was addressed.
Foreign Legion 3× in 2 columns
The application form to join it, still not sent.
Cast off the gherkins·All about camels, cogs and turkeys and other things
Fortnum and Masons 2× in 1 column
What Mrs Weston's husband bought her for her birthday.
French Revolution 4× in 3 columns
Madame Defarge was in it, Barry complains.
A ball by any other game·Mammoth mother strikes again·Matric’s killing me! I just can’t stand the strain!
Fresh from the Sea 1× in 1 column
Lannice Snyman's book, which started the whole thing off.
Garfield 1× in 1 column
The comic strip Carol's husband was reading when she leapt on him in black lace.
General Tyres 2× in 1 column
Tyre company whose bush demonstration Carol attended.
Gilbert and Sullivan 2× in 2 columns
Sung in the shower, to the news that the census forms had arrived.
Common census bites the dust·Putting old ties where your ‘tush’ is
Global Sandton SPCA 1× in 1 column
Whose Mutt of the Year Show she judged under a gaily-striped umbrella.
God Blessus 1× in 1 column
How the greeting came back, with much smiling, and she only realised later.
Goldberg's Kosher Polony 1× in 1 column
The three-wheel delivery vehicle that blocked the view of the naked man.
Goldenberg's Kosher Polony 1× in 1 column
The truck, between a red convertible and perfection.
Good Food and Wine Show 2× in 1 column
Held annually at the Good Hope Centre in Cape Town, four days of exhibitors.
Gottschalk 9× in 1 column
The lawnmower, named for the recently deceased Mr Gershon Clint Gottschalk it was bought from. Seventeen troublesome years.
Grand Function 1× in 1 column
The Civic Centre booked for it, Wednesday night.
Grand Prix 2× in 2 columns
Whose contestants their driving prowess makes look sick.
Mothers of the world unite·All at sea (for a day) as we get shipshape
Great Danes 1× in 1 column
Two of them, chased up a tree by the cat five years ago.
Great Trek 3× in 2 columns
"I know how the Trekboers felt 147 years ago."
Greenside High 12× in 12 columns
Johannesburg high school, reached by one son on a one-wheel bike.
The toothmouse strikes again·Supermother rides again·Strike of the unpaid domestic engineers·A skeleton out of the cupboard·Things aren’t what they used to be – or what they should be for that matter·When parents and teachers meet — life’s always exciting·There’s nothing quite like camping·Happiness is when your son has a date for the matric dance·Poor Dubowitz bites the dust·Braving the depths of life in a wetsuit·Beware my little fender bender·The Parrot
Griqua 2× in 1 column
One of the classifications listed in the same place, with its own code.
Group Areas Act 2× in 2 columns
The law that would have moved a dog classified Mixed out of Parkwood.
We've been harbouring a friendly alien·Get away from it all with a 7-year hitch
Gucci 7× in 7 columns
The scarf the husband knotted into a knapsack before leaving with Mr Guppy.
They say pets are good for your health·Watchit! Here comes Niki Lauda Lazar!·A smoky tale of woe·Every mother needs a thief in her life·She’s just a talking skunk·You know what? Enough is enough·Get away from it all with a 7-year hitch
Hans Christian Andersen 5× in 1 column
The theatre booking, and the ecstasy that followed.
Happy Birthday 12× in 5 columns
Sung down the line from New York by Auntie Bertha at 10pm.
Every household drudge should have her day — but when?·In the bush with the terrors·So who needs Rod Stewart and a flashy old diamond?·Birthday greetings ‘Kos’ a fortune·Cold feet search nightly for a pair of warm thighs
Happy Christmas 21× in 12 columns
What the milkman arrived to wish her, before mentioning he would prefer wine to money.
Heppy Klissimus·And a happy Christmas to you too·A Christmas tale·Christmas comes but once a year — just as well, my feet can't take the strain·The night we saw the Pope and the peppermints tasted funny·Christmas comes but once a year – thank heavens·Heppy Klissimus to you, too·Never mind the lumps in the jam — it’s the thought that counts·Merry Christmas to you too, Mr Cohen·The rise and fall of a Jewish Santa·Heppy Klissimus brings out the dustbin men·Fortunately for Livingston, I presume: it’s Christmas
Happy Couple 2× in 2 columns
The large picture of them, surrounded by smaller prints.
The Wedding causes civil war·Fins ain’t what they used to be
Happy Dog Chunky Meat Ball Breakfast 1× in 1 column
The invitation she had received, thank you so much.
Happy Hour 1× in 1 column
What the rose on the trout was called. Once a month.
Happy New Year 6× in 5 columns
Bellowed back by her husband as they reversed.
And a happy Christmas to you too·So who invented New Year?·1982 — the year of the mole cricket·Merry Christmas to you too, Mr Cohen·It’s hard to live a little if you can’t let go a little
Harley Davidson 4× in 4 columns
A ride on the back of one, which she exclaimed about.
Help, help, there’s a hell’s angel trying to get out·The day I exhibited distinct birding characteristics·Maya is Born·Well hello, Maya, it's nice to know you're here at last
Heppy Klissimus 22× in 3 columns
The drain man's greeting at the door, and the column's title. Her spelling, kept.
Heppy Klissimus·Heppy Klissimus to you, too·Heppy Klissimus brings out the dustbin men
Home Bake 2× in 1 column
The shop to buy a home-made cake from, for the mother-in-law.
Home Improvement 1× in 1 column
Where the drain cleaner belongs. Let me transfer you.
Hopscotch 1× in 1 column
The film they had democratically agreed to see, and did not.
Horace the tent 22× in 10 columns
The ancient but sturdy army tent, retrieved from the storeroom for the Magaliesberg. Not the hamster of the same name.
The sad demise of Horace·Frostbite can be fun·So who needs a dreamhouse?·The ice-cream cone syndrome of life·C’mon, plug into a whole new way of life·Come the revolution·Who says it’s just a game?·The "Joys" of Camping·Just keep the braai smoke off the TV screen·There's a great new way of meeting people in SA
Hotel Braamfontein 2× in 1 column
"Let the Hotel Braamfontein play host to you and your."
House of Sports Cars 3× in 2 columns
The Johannesburg dealer she passed on her way to the supermarket.
Bite the dust baby, cos here I come·Beauty is only skin deep — so who needs skin?
Hum Drum Yum 1× in 1 column
Drumsticks with the spicey flavouring, packed in the school lunches.
Human Companion Animal Bond Society 1× in 1 column
The body whose chairman held that pets are medically beneficial to people.
Hush Puppy 2× in 2 columns
Her seven-year-old real suede Hush Puppy boots, and their heel.
A book, a bough, a glass of wine and that’s it·Hello Baryshnikov, my name's Carol
Identity Number 2× in 1 column
What the classifications and their codes make up, in the new books column.
Instant Cement Tile Glue 1× in 1 column
The can he lathered up with, next to the Clear Sealer on the shelf.
Institute for Unexplained Phenomena 1× in 1 column
Helpful about the creature. "Examine it closely," they said.
International Back Week 3× in 1 column
"Straighten your spine, for this is International Back Week, in case you didn't know."
International Naturist Federation 2× in 1 column
An august body of worldly strippers.
Italia Conti 2× in 1 column
London stage school, held out by another mother as a plan for her daughter; it sounded like a spaghetti factory.
James Bond 4× in 4 columns
What a husband looks like in a dinner suit, if you want him to wear one.
When jogging goes to Carol’s head·Happiness is when your son has a date for the matric dance·When the phantom bomber tries to strike·Who's having a ball?
Jaws 14× in 13 columns
"I had to wait for Jaws 3 and then dish it up."
Heaven help me·Gone fishin' ... or something·A toothy tale about headgear·A skeleton out of the cupboard·So who needs to speak English these days?·Every mother needs a newspaper round in her life·Never give up in a tight spot·It’s spring and sex is in the air·Business trips are hell·When the phantom bomber tries to strike·I'm not hogging it over the jet set·Making a mother out of Leonardo·My ‘ubuntu braai’ idea sadly went down in flames
Je Reviens 1× in 1 column
Fragrance worn for the Valentine’s dinner.
Jersey 11× in 8 columns
Dairy cattle breed of restorative reputation.
Blame it all on Schuyler·Tall, dark and handsome·Make your ecosystem work·For whom the bell tolls: a hairy experience·Who says it’s just a game?·On a countdown to fall-out·Some dags cakked under the strine·Packing with a spouse not a bonding experience ...
Jingle Bells 3× in 3 columns
A tuneless rendering of it, during a thunder storm.
And a happy Christmas to you too·Never mind the lumps in the jam — it’s the thought that counts·Merry Christmas to you too, Mr Cohen
Jonathan Livingstone Seagull 1× in 1 column
Richard Bach's bird, whose feelings before the first great flight Carol knew at the top of La Grand Motte.
Josette 1× in 1 column
Where Carol went for the total wax, massage and body treatment.
Juluka 1× in 1 column
Johnny Clegg and Sipho Mchunu's band, on the fourth tapedeck.
Kama Sutra 2× in 2 columns
What the son of 17 could rewrite, with the son of 15 adding the spicey parts. Open on the desk in the drawing.
Kapenta 3× in 1 column
Small freshwater sardine of Lake Kariba, netted at night; food and bait.
Khama Sutra 1× in 1 column
Her spelling, in the line about the cast of Arabian Nights.
Kinsey Report 1× in 1 column
Unabridged, and still less interesting than Dallas.
Kiss 58× in 27 columns
Named in the same line.
Who said Valentines were soppy?·Of plague ... and things·Uncle Walter in long-Johns·A little flu goes a long way·Tall, dark and handsome·So why don't Xmas stockings fit?·The bean trail rides again·Revolution of the fig leaf generation·Sex is here to stay·A book, a bough, a glass of wine and that’s it·Fins ain’t what they used to be·Every mother should have her day·Anyone for a culture shock?·Life is just a bar of wormy chocolate·Every mutt has its day·Oh ring where is thy ding a ling a ling?·A kiss is just a kiss·If the cap fits, steal it·Braving the depths of life in a wetsuit·For whom the bell tolls: a hairy experience·Down Under wives pant for pay; here it’s zilch·Die rubriek is ook in Afrikaans beskikbaar ...·A smack on the kisser for the New South Africa·Exhaustedly talking my way into the New SA·The only time I've been speechless is on a plane·Next century will be good for women and my Maya·A dose of reverse-Viagra might go down well
Klissimus 43× in 4 columns
As in Klissimus-box time, said by the man wot unblocks the drains.
Heppy Klissimus·Christmas comes but once a year – thank heavens·Heppy Klissimus to you, too·Heppy Klissimus brings out the dustbin men
Klutmik diamond 4× in 1 column
The book club's parable: you want the diamond and you have to take Mr Klutmik too.
La Pepito 1× in 1 column
The label on the navy, orange, red and turquoise creation. An absolute bargain at R728,42.
Lady Chatterley's Lover 1× in 1 column
Spelt Chatterly in the column.
Lamborghini Espada 5× in 1 column
R125 000 of sports car, 12 cylinders, chamois leather and a dashboard like a Jumbo Jet's.
Land-Rover 6× in 4 columns
The vehicle the family saw Southern Africa from under.
Life is just a set of false teeth·When spare parts hardly happen·It's a perfectly opposite life·The Great Trek strikes again
Landdrost Hotel 2× in 1 column
Where he is for the month of March, so come and sample his.
Lawnmowers' Convention Team 2× in 1 column
What Jamie says it is, without a flicker.
Le Baiser 1× in 1 column
Book about kissing discussed in A kiss is just a kiss.
Lear 3× in 3 columns
Status aircraft.
A little bit of status gets you nowhere·Ice-cream cone syndrome is incurable·Heaven is ... a heedful dog
Lice Watchers' Society 1× in 1 column
Of the Northern Suburbs, formed by one enterprising mother.
Lido 2× in 2 columns
The Lido dancers, to be flown in from Paris for the entertainment.
Hamburgers still beat slow dancing when you’re a kid·It could probably happen to anyone
Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody 1× in 1 column
Named in the column.
Looping Star 5× in 3 columns
The roller coaster at Milner Park, ridden under protest at the age of a flat-footed mother of four.
I always wanted to be a bat·So who needs Disney World when we’ve got the Rand Show?·So, who needs to Loop a Star?
Madam 52× in 31 columns
How she is addressed at the door and over the drinks tray, through the whole run of the column.
Bath blues·Heppy Klissimus·Of plague ... and things·Happy Father's Day to you·Supermother rides again·The bean trail rides again·Every fried egg will have its day·Holidays hardly happen·So who's got time to live these days?·Things aren’t what they used to be – or what they should be for that matter·Speed gets the adrenalin going·Pap and boerewors for swimming Moms·Drink champagne and do your bit for South Africa·Life’s just an old spark plug anyway ...·Help! help! I’m a prisoner in a body·Help, help, there’s a hell’s angel trying to get out·Who said life was just one big hoot?·Oh ring where is thy ding a ling a ling?·Heppy Klissimus to you, too·When the phantom bomber tries to strike·Help! I've got a teenage daughter·If the cap fits, steal it·I'm the Queen of the crumbling castle·Trapped with a teenage daughter·Heppy Klissimus brings out the dustbin men·Even in a bath shocks can be lurking·Clutch gets into high gear·Taking a bath with the neighbours saves water·Minor disasters put everything into perspective·Vinning is vot counts, and our Boks did so in style·Politically correct language
Madam & Eve 2× in 1 column
The daily cartoon strip created in 1992 by Harry Dugmore, Stephen Francis and Rico Schacherl.
Madams are from Mars 1× in 1 column
The book, Madams are from Mars and Maids are from Venus.
Malay 3× in 2 columns
One of the classifications listed in the same place, with its own code.
Who is this amazing cook and whiz with the vacuum?·New ID Books
Maltese 33× in 22 columns
Small white toy breed.
Jogging's for the birds·Bath blues·Of plague ... and things·It shouldn't happen to anyone·Who says it's a dog's life?·So who said that naked wasn't nice?·They say pets are good for your health·So who’s busy?·Every mother needs a newspaper round in her life·Motherhood — it’s a great big crying rip-off·Momma is marooned on an island paradise·When the stay-fit freak strikes again·Lay on jacuzzis for Fifi and Spot·Taking a bath with the neighbours saves water·Maltese poodles are intrepid South African settlers·Laying the foundations for loving thy neighbour·Hotstuff Lazar cc will take a wait off your mind·My ‘ubuntu braai’ idea sadly went down in flames·When you croodle, you’ve moved beyond cuddling·An election of a different kind·I miss our fluffy little scrap of energy·Animal behaviour consultant
Mamma Barilla 1× in 1 column
Named in the column.
If you haven’t stuffed cannelloni ... you really haven’t lived
Mango Groove 1× in 1 column
South African band. On Ralph's list of things to post to London.
Marcato 5× in 1 column
A hand-operated pasta machine, "the Rolls Royce of handmade pasta machines, the Steinway of dough extrusion".
Marks and Sparks 1× in 1 column
Marks and Spencer, where a cashmere jersey was bought in 1964 and remained the husband's most valued possession.
Marlin 21× in 6 columns
A swimming grade. "Mummy, I'm a Marlin," she said with great joy.
Fish are pretty foxy·When the cops caught the tunny run home·My daughter the fish·Some fishy tales of feminine prowess·Maya is Born·Well hello, Maya, it's nice to know you're here at last
Master Olive Maker 1× in 1 column
What Grandmother Farah was, beyond doubt, and then Edric dropped a.
Matchbox 9× in 6 columns
The toy cars of a son who is suddenly taller than his mother.
Who hates Gertrude Ginkel?·Tall, dark and handsome·A murderer or saint?·Up, up and away in a plastic bubble·Why didn’t I do this all before?·Army surplus store proved to be accommodating
Mazda 5× in 4 columns
A 1984 Mazda 323 hubcap, wanted.
Poor Dubowitz bites the dust·When life is just a bowl of kumquats·If the cap fits, steal it·Take Norman, my car
Meal of the Moment 41× in 30 columns
Her super-surprise economy one, mince on toast.
Cast off the gherkins·Uncle Walter in long-Johns·Who invented the fork anyway?·Business is hell·And the turkey came too·Eat your heart out Margot·1982 — the year of the mole cricket·So who says fresh air is healthy?·So who’s busy?·Drink champagne and do your bit for South Africa·Hey! Watchit Greek islands — here comes Momma Lazar!·How not to get into a stew·When Carol goes into battle dressed to kill·Poor Dubowitz bites the dust·The night sweet romance passed me by·Business trips are hell·The ultimate civilised breakfast, SA style·Full marks for matric tact and tactics·Devastating dialogue at the Dinner Drama·Old age or not, 10 eggs per meal is murder·Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived·Love’s but the frailty of mind·Planet America is a wonder to behold·Taking a bath with the neighbours saves water·Pretoria hijackers have such a sense of humour·Hotstuff Lazar cc will take a wait off your mind·Maya·Putting old ties where your ‘tush’ is·It all began when I was a birthday gift·Renaissance Man puts on an apron
Mechanical Mother 6× in 1 column
What a deflated dad wishes he had. It comes complete with a.
Merry Christmas 6× in 4 columns
Yelled from the parking place as he extracted himself.
And a happy Christmas to you too·Christmas comes but once a year — just as well, my feet can't take the strain·Merry Christmas to you too, Mr Cohen·Fortunately for Livingston, I presume: it’s Christmas
Michelin Man 3× in 3 columns
What the larger and more shapeless garments turned a tall, slender daughter into.
Hey, look! It’s big Les and little Carol on the mean machine·Help! help! I’m a prisoner in a body·Help! I've got a teenage daughter
Millstone Hotel 1× in 1 column
Lancashire hotel offering the ultimate meal for connoisseurs of breakfast, at R1 000 for two.
Mini 28× in 21 columns
Banged on the roof of, by a thick arm. Two of them became entangled at Empire Road.
Boating's for the birds·Naughty, naked and oh so nice·Culture vulture·So who invented New Year?·Christmas comes but once a year — just as well, my feet can't take the strain·A book, a bough, a glass of wine and that’s it·Watchit! Here comes Niki Lauda Lazar!·When parents and teachers meet — life’s always exciting·Hamburgers still beat slow dancing when you’re a kid·Facing up to the bare facts of rhythm in the old genes·Every mother needs a book club·Who said life was just one big hoot?·A murderer or saint?·Every back should have its day ... or seven·Who says every mom has to suffer? The traffic department·Help! I've got a teenage daughter·Men's lib could start with a little chiffon·There's a mini-millionaire in our backyard·Ain't no place like spunky Johannesburg today·The break up of Spice Girls may have sunk our rand·Koopsiekte inevitable in shopping malls of the US
Minute Waltz 1× in 1 column
Played in 45 seconds flat, with repeats.
Mister Right 2× in 1 column
Met among the personals, while they wait in the pens and cow sheds.
Mitchell 3× in 2 columns
Make of fishing reel. What a husband buys for his own rod and gives his wife for her birthday.
So why don't Xmas stockings fit?·Schools crisis a threat to all in SA
Moby Dick 6× in 2 columns
The deep-sea fishing vessel out of St Francis Bay, and not, as she first assumed, a whale.
Fish are pretty foxy·Reversing the fate of a southern right whale
Modom 18× in 13 columns
How the parking attendant's colleague refers to her: park the Modom's car, Phineas.
Parties in the sticks·Life is just a tube of toothpaste·Common census bites the dust·When hair should never happen·Dead fish don't talk back·Everyone loves a swinger·So who said that naked wasn't nice?·So who’s busy?·Who said life was just one big hoot?·We're all going on a cosy holiday·Trapped with a teenage daughter·A versatile bowl fits two fish sandwiches·A little perfection can go a long way
Mona Lisa 8× in 4 columns
Invoked for her wide forehead, which looks better on a painting than on a husband.
Sometimes, the bald truth hurts more than anything·Making a mother out of Leonardo·Maya is Born·Well hello, Maya, it's nice to know you're here at last
Monty Python 3× in 3 columns
"It's more like a Monty Python show," he growled.
Braving the depths of life in a wetsuit·Flushed with success in toiletry trade·Life in Cape Town
Moody Blues 1× in 1 column
Playing simultaneously with the Beatles, Madonna and Juluka.
Moonlight Sonata 1× in 1 column
Tortured on the piano by Nicky.
Morris Minor 1× in 1 column
Car. Its owners were mostly short and fat with solid rears.
Mother City 1× in 1 column
Cape Town, which they limped into 18 hours later and which has not changed at all.
Mother's Day 34× in 7 columns
A ruthless rip-off invented by a little pot-bellied man, she decides.
Every mother deserves one·What goes thump in the dark?·Every father deserves his day·Mother's Day comes once a year — it's not enough·Every mother should have her day·Every dog should have his day·Come the revolution
Mother's Daydom 1× in 1 column
The great commercial racket of it, born that day.
Mother's Trade Union 6× in 2 columns
What we need, she decides, having thought about it.
Mother's Day comes once a year — it's not enough·Come the revolution
Mother's Year 2× in 2 columns
What we really need, she decides, something to get our teeth into.
Mother's Day comes once a year — it's not enough·Come the revolution
Mr Crusty 1× in 1 column
The bakery where Carol discovered raisin bread and liberation.
Muslim Students' Association 1× in 1 column
Another on the same list.
Mutt of the Year Show 1× in 1 column
Judged from under a gaily-striped umbrella.
Natal Parks Board 3× in 1 column
Opened a hissing parcel labelled computer parts, and offered to inspect a dog's credentials.
National Pet Care Week 3× in 1 column
A week in which South Africans were asked to love, honour and cherish their pets.
Nats 5× in 5 columns
One of three parties offering disaster.
Boerewors is the bane of my life·Flushed with success in toiletry trade·Blame it all on spinach·So, what's a lion or two?·Forget soaps, just switch to pre-election politicians
Nederburg 2× in 1 column
Paarl wine estate whose annual auction of rare Cape wines she attended, and which the paper sets both Nederberg and Nederburg.
New Languages, Songs, Prose, Poetry and Music Act 1× in 1 column
Another law of her invented commonwealth.
New Method 1× in 1 column
This is the New Method teaching, and doing projects enables a pupil.
New National State of All Southern African States 1× in 1 column
What she has a mandate to form, including Botswana and the Transkei.
New Parent's Tea Party 1× in 1 column
What the chocolate cake was made for.
New Prohibition Act 5× in 1 column
Of Negative Gender and Race Differentiation, in the same invention.
New Romantic 1× in 1 column
The New Romantic Look, or that is what he called it.
New South Africa 15× in 10 columns
A chocolate representative of it, being eaten.
So, what's a lion or two?·Boris was Hugo looking for love·Adverts' slogans power up our New South Africa·Just keep the braai smoke off the TV screen·How I nearly had my body unblocked·Clutch gets into high gear·Touts at robots help usher in new SA·A smack on the kisser for the New South Africa·Taking a bath with the neighbours saves water·Exhaustedly talking my way into the New SA
New Wave 3× in 2 columns
She was into New Wave before New Wave.
So who needs a status symbol in their life? Me·Everyone loves a swinger
New Year 38× in 12 columns
A merry Christmas and a happy New Year, from the disembodied voice.
Sardines in the sand·And a happy Christmas to you too·So who invented New Year?·1982 — the year of the mole cricket·The ice-cream cone syndrome of life·C’mon – it’s nearly Christmas, let’s have another swinging party·Things aren’t what they used to be – or what they should be for that matter·Merry Christmas to you too, Mr Cohen·It’s hard to live a little if you can’t let go a little·The multitudes left us mauled, bruised – and grateful·Full feed ahead with the Jewish mother syndrome·New Year's Eve
New Year's Eve 9× in 4 columns
It began innocently enough, a night of.
So who invented New Year?·C’mon – it’s nearly Christmas, let’s have another swinging party·It’s hard to live a little if you can’t let go a little·New Year's Eve
New Zealand Broadcasting Corporation 1× in 1 column
Beverly Wakem's corporation, and the 151 banned words.
Noah's Ark 3× in 3 columns
So who needs green grass?·A book, a bough, a glass of wine and that’s it·Who says the grass is always greener on the other side ...?
Nobel Prize 4× in 4 columns
Demanded by a boy for making his bed.
In the swim of things·Men's lib could start with a little chiffon·Old age or not, 10 eggs per meal is murder·Life in Cape Town
Norman 21× in 4 columns
An Opel Monza cabriolet, named for his NMN number plate and driven for eleven years.
I lost my men in a techno nightmare in cyberspace·Take Norman, my car·All at sea (for a day) as we get shipshape·Secondhand Norman storms along
Norwood Cleansing Department 4× in 3 columns
Telephoned about the creature.
Make your ecosystem work·A smoky tale of woe·Fortunately for Livingston, I presume: it’s Christmas
Norwood Flea Market 2× in 2 columns
Where the Ming vase was picked up.
The ultimate civilised breakfast, SA style·A versatile bowl fits two fish sandwiches
Not The 9 O'clock News 1× in 1 column
Watched along with 'Pop Shop', by the same one who finds time to go boardsailing because it relaxes.
Nudelle Cuisine not yet in the archive
The book in the cartoon accompanying "Naked is nice".
Ode to a Boerewors 1× in 1 column
Sung, or so someone said, and followed by.
Olympics 8× in 7 columns
Where it is skill that counts, not looks.
The diningroom table’s the backbone of the family: Help! We’ve just collapsed·Hamburgers still beat slow dancing when you’re a kid·My daughter the fish·A little home cooking to soup-up Zola·On the slippery slope to fame·Adverts' slogans power up our New South Africa·Who is this amazing cook and whiz with the vacuum?
Omo 12× in 4 columns
A washing powder. Being a household name "like Omo" is the insult that starts the tree-trunk column.
I am a tree-trunk, Omo sofa·Maltese poodles are intrepid South African settlers·When you croodle, you’ve moved beyond cuddling·I miss our fluffy little scrap of energy
One Man and His Dog not yet in the archive
The television series the gatecrashing dog claimed to be practising for.
Operation Hunger 1× in 1 column
South African famine relief; its R10 ticket, against a million rand, was the husband's idea of value.
Other Asian 2× in 1 column
One of the classifications listed in the same place, with its own code.
Other Coloured 2× in 1 column
One of the classifications listed in the same place. Perhaps green, purple, blue, she adds.
Overactive Promotions 1× in 1 column
Agency inviting Carol to a dog-food breakfast in the telephone column.
Oxford Dictionary 5× in 5 columns
Condemned by petition for defining Man as a human being and Woman as unmanly.
Is man really necessary?·Snappy hint for canine canines·Housewives ordinary? Forget it!·Soon we'll be gobbling Karoo 'land langoustines'·When you croodle, you’ve moved beyond cuddling
Pan African Congress 1× in 1 column
Whose call the peaceful, unarmed demonstrators answered on 21 March 1960.
Parktown prawn 10× in 4 columns
The king cricket of Johannesburg gardens, with its ears in its knees. Not dangerous to woman.
Who says the grass is always greener on the other side ...?·It could probably happen to anyone·Devastating dialogue at the Dinner Drama·Exporting Parktown prawns
Parkwood Residents' Association 1× in 1 column
Which put her name forward for the Green Garden Award.
Pasta to Die For 1× in 1 column
Bella Giorgionetti's well-known book, which the magnificent pasta came from.
Peppermint Crisp 7× in 5 columns
South African chocolate bar. Requested from both London and Buffalo.
Braving the depths of life in a wetsuit·Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived·Thermal pants his bottom line·Oh boy, mom remembered the blatjang·Where, oh where have all the Beetles gone?
Physical Protection Act 1× in 1 column
For Animals and Humans, in her invented commonwealth.
Planet Hollywood 1× in 1 column
One of the ones that hit world headlines.
Playboy 3× in 2 columns
The magazine Horace choked over, and was buried in.
The sad demise of Horace·Mothers of the world unite for you have only brown paper to lose
Polly Wolly Doodle 1× in 1 column
Ears moved alternately in time to it.
Portnoy's Complaint 2× in 2 columns
Philip Roth's novel, and the one place liver is not simply liver.
Exams are hell on the cells·Full marks for matric tact and tactics
Post Office 8× in 8 columns
A R500 fine for tampering with its property, and worth every cent.
A big city's for the birds and even they don't want it·C’mon, plug into a whole new way of life·They call it high-flying living·Who's hanging up on life?·We've been harbouring a friendly alien·Trapped with a teenage daughter·Exhaustedly talking my way into the New SA·A little perfection can go a long way
Prince Valiant 1× in 1 column
The comic-strip knight. How Edric departed into the dark night on his mission.
Prohibition of Mixed Marriages Act 2× in 2 columns
One of the laws the column sets out.
Pucci 3× in 3 columns
Her R17,99 Pucci shoes, and their spiked heels.
Oh death where is thy sting?·Is later life just, well, a set of spare parts?·When the stay-fit freak strikes again
Puff the Magic Dragon 1× in 1 column
Puffing away, above the clock in top gear.
Putco 1× in 1 column
The bus company; one of its drivers hoots up your rear while you are out of petrol.
Quiche Lorraine 1× in 1 column
To pop out between it and the duck, to fetch Jamie.
R1 23× in 18 columns
The rifle issued to South African conscripts, and too heavy for the imagined sixty-year-old call-up.
The toothmouse strikes again·Sometimes, the bald truth hurts more than anything·Fasten your helmets and your false teeth·Roll out the pastry, your country needs you.·Every mother needs a newspaper round in her life·Gerrie for Prime Minister·Uteri for hire·The ultimate civilised breakfast, SA style·Down Under wives pant for pay; here it’s zilch·Say a swift Howzit! on your teledivellicater·Stubby’s farewell a pulverised garden·Congrats, for thousands of us, might be in order·Cutting down trees isn't the only way to calm down·Empty schools are an instant education solution·When a syringa twig does the job better, use it...·Laying the foundations for loving thy neighbour·Troglodyte development planning for East Rand·Secondhand Norman storms along
Railways Lost-and-Found 1× in 1 column
Where the perfect set of false teeth came from.
Rand Show 12× in 3 columns
"Measles, mumps or chickenpox, the Rand Show has arrived."
So who needs Disney World when we’ve got the Rand Show?·The day Walter curled up and died at Satara·So, who needs to Loop a Star?
Regence Chaudfroid 1× in 1 column
Supreme de Volailles a la Regence Chaudfroid a la Lucullus, from the menu.
Rehabilitation for Detailed Cats Society 2× in 1 column
Who asked her to speak. Nothing too taxing.
Rejects Sale 1× in 1 column
At the local, friendly electrical shop, where her spouse bought it.
Republic Day 2× in 1 column
The gala show to be held on it, for expatriate South Africans.
Robin Hood 1× in 1 column
Wanted, with Maid Marion, in an imaginary small advertisement in the local bacon and eggs newspaper.
Roget Gallet 1× in 1 column
Named in the column.
Every mother has a cross to — bear some are heavier than others
Rolls 20× in 18 columns
Status object.
In the swim of things·So who said parties are such fun?·When spare parts hardly happen·In the bush with the terrors·So who needs a status symbol in their life? Me·A little bit of status gets you nowhere·Motherhood — it’s a great big crying rip-off·Who said life was just one big hoot?·A murderer or saint?·Every mother needs a thief in her life·Poor Dubowitz bites the dust·On a countdown to fall-out·Sea creature now sports a funky pair of spectacles·Ma needs her car in a hurry down here on Earth·My ‘ubuntu braai’ idea sadly went down in flames·Holed up in my underground shelter·Chef in the making – and what a pain·A machine which can change your life
Rolls Royce 4× in 4 columns
The Rolls Royce of handmade pasta machines, and the Steinway of them.
Motherhood — it’s a great big crying rip-off·Sea creature now sports a funky pair of spectacles·Ma needs her car in a hurry down here on Earth·A machine which can change your life
Roman Empire 2× in 2 columns
Reconstructed by the Latin section, with temples and atriums.
Cast off your school uniforms·A skeleton out of the cupboard
Rosenthal 3× in 3 columns
Agatha Crump's new design china cups with the fluted edges.
Oh death where is thy sting?·Uteri for hire·Bring on the sleep machine!
Royal Ballet 1× in 1 column
Pact or the Royal Ballet one day, which made her daughter wide-eyed.
Royal Doulton 1× in 1 column
The platters the Cassolettes a la Metternich were ladled on to.
Russian Revolution 1× in 1 column
On the week's homework list with the heart, common diseases and mammoths.
S-bend 4× in 4 columns
Where Barry's arm got wedged, and it took two hours.
Flush your worries away — ask the kids·They call it high-flying living·In the thick of the brown·Who is this amazing cook and whiz with the vacuum?
SAA 4× in 4 columns
Does not fly the Rosebank-Parkwood route.
Who says every mom has to suffer? The traffic department·Planet America is a wonder to behold·Full feed ahead with the Jewish mother syndrome·The land of milk and honey ... but no biltong
Sasol 2× in 2 columns
South African oil-from-coal company; a third thing to be asked at the pumps. "Petrol, I want petrol."
Flush your worries away — ask the kids·Boerewors is the bane of my life
Saumon Belvedere 1× in 1 column
A salmon dish imagined on the Zoo Lake Restaurant menu.
Save the Amoeba Fund 1× in 1 column
Where the money from the premiere tickets went.
Scientific African 1× in 1 column
Journal of record on the subject of hair loss. Almost certainly invented.
Scottie 8× in 7 columns
What his previous owners euphemistically described the black hound as.
Culture vulture strikes again·I guess other mothers have trees too ...·It’s spring and sex is in the air·Who says our animals don't have spiritual souls?·An election of a different kind·I miss our fluffy little scrap of energy·Animal behaviour consultant
Selby Night Soil 1× in 1 column
Traced to them, and they suggested trying Olifantsvlei.
Separate Amenities Act 2× in 2 columns
There were pass laws and this, and the list was long.
Sesotho 6× in 1 column
Named in the same question, and advertised as Speedy Sesotho with Mr Molefe.
Singer Treadle 1× in 1 column
The 1923 sewing machine without the treadle but with the wheel.
Sleeping Beauty 3× in 1 column
The classic tale, and the darker version of it that the 11-year-old had got hold of.
Smarties 1× in 1 column
Three of them, laid along the toothmouse's route as objects of strategic interest.
Sotho 3× in 2 columns
"Are you northern Sotho, southern Sotho? What is your." From the census questions she found quaint.
Common census bites the dust·Die rubriek is ook in Afrikaans beskikbaar ...
South African Boy Beautiful 1× in 1 column
What he was, under the T-shirt: first team rugby, toothpaste teeth.
South African Communist Party 2× in 1 column
Banned with the ANC and the PAC, and the leaders went underground.
South African Defence Force 7× in 6 columns
Found spreading concrete in the garden on the last morning of the sorrel.
In the swim of things·You're in the army now·Hey! Watchit Greek islands — here comes Momma Lazar!·Boerewors will overcome·Gardening tips stink·Devastating dialogue at the Dinner Drama
South African Philharmonic 1× in 1 column
Orchestra included in Carol’s extravagant Father’s Day breakfast plan.
South African Railways 3× in 3 columns
Named in the column.
Mystery and intrigue on the Drakensberg Express·Every mother should have a Jody Scheckter in her life·Those weekends just ain’t long enough
South African Union of Jewish Students 2× in 1 column
One of the clubs on the university list.
Spanish Inquisition 2× in 2 columns
Named in the column.
Needed now — inflatable mum for deflated dad·The dread K53 drives you mad
SPCA 21× in 11 columns
Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
Who says it's a dog's life?·She’s just a talking skunk·Every mutt has its day·It’s a cat’s life·Lay on jacuzzis for Fifi and Spot·Boris was Hugo looking for love·Who says our animals don't have spiritual souls?·Maltese poodles are intrepid South African settlers·Making pets out of the not-so-dangerous criminals·I miss our fluffy little scrap of energy·The Parrot
Spray and Cook 3× in 1 column
Aerosol cooking spray, mistaken for the insect repellent, then for the underarm deodorant, then used as shaving foam.
Springbok Radio 6× in 5 columns
The commercial station. Listening to it for fun is her standing measure of a dull way to pass an afternoon.
Oh death where is thy sting?·A ball by any other game·So who needs blood·I always wanted to be a bat·Deep throat puts spring in the jump of an intruder
Springbok Ski Club 1× in 1 column
Where South Africans learn to ski on a moving carpet in Craighall Park.
Springboks 32× in 20 columns
The South African rugby side.
Jogging's for the birds·Oh death where is thy sting?·Parties in the sticks·A ball by any other game·So who needs blood·The Wedding causes civil war·I always wanted to be a bat·Who says it's a dog's life?·Every dog should have his day·The ultimate civilised breakfast, SA style·On the slippery slope to fame·Some fishy tales of feminine prowess·Blame it all on spinach·'Crazee' that a lack of a 'kick hair' lost us Test·Vinning is vot counts, and our Boks did so in style·Deep throat puts spring in the jump of an intruder·Search is on to find – before 2000 – one aardvark·Yes, mom, God should have been a woman·A little perfection can go a long way·JR now playing a tune for Gershwin
St Bernard 2× in 2 columns
A possible one, though the vet is not really sure.
Lay on jacuzzis for Fifi and Spot·Animal behaviour consultant
St Valentine's Day 24× in 4 columns
On Tuesday, and Nicky is getting prepared with cards.
Who said Valentines were soppy?·So who needs romance on St Valentine's Day?·Oozing oil from every pore·The night sweet romance passed me by
Steinway 2× in 2 columns
The two-legged grand piano, minus upper keys, once used as a coffin for an Austrian Count.
Life is just a set of false teeth·A machine which can change your life
Sunday Express 16× in 2 columns
The Johannesburg paper that carried the column from 1979.
Who said running is fun?·Oh ring where is thy ding a ling a ling?
Superman 3× in 3 columns
There was Batman, Superman, the Bionic man and person.
Supermother rides again·What goes thump in the dark?·They call it high-flying living
Supreme Mother 3× in 1 column
What she reigned as in this household, and even Supreme Mothers can topple.
Swan Lake 2× in 2 columns
Which he will not be dancing at the State Theatre for the next three months.
Every dancer's mum shall have her day·Josias the kraal manure spreader knows his toes
Sweepstake Reservation Certificate 1× in 1 column
To be sent in immediately, with a quick reply.
Swinging Singles Club 1× in 1 column
Where she met the young man.
Symphony Orchestra 3× in 3 columns
Her neighbour is a first violinist in it, and practises.
Who invented the fork anyway?·Every mutt has its day·Ain't no place like spunky Johannesburg today
Tassenberg 2× in 2 columns
Inexpensive Cape red, served with orange juice in place of iced French champagne.
The ultimate civilised breakfast, SA style·It’s enough to make you ask what’s in a name
Tchaikovsky's Violin Concerto 1× in 1 column
In D major, shrieking through the wall from the first violinist next door.
The Elixir of Life from Fruit Flies 4× in 2 columns
The story, describing how a team did it.
There are absolutely no flies on the Elixir of Life·Ho hum, soon it will be the end of yet another era
The Gods Must Be Crazy 1× in 1 column
The film they sat through at the wrong drive-in, which her husband complained was unoriginal.
The Great Australian Biscuit 1× in 1 column
Recipe book cited by a baking group seeking help over the telephone.
The Happy Hooker 1× in 1 column
Read under the blanket, to broaden her horizons.
The Hardy Boys 1× in 1 column
Being read under a willow tree by a boy the whole picnic was out searching for.
The Ideal Marriage 1× in 1 column
That authoritative tome, consulted while things were tense.
The Intricate Preparation of a Herring Prior to Creating a Fishy Masterpiece 1× in 1 column
The doctorate she intends writing.
What every good wife should know - or how to have a happy marriage
The Sunday Star not yet in the archive
The paper that carried the column later.
The Unbearable Lightness of Being 1× in 1 column
Named with Jean de Florette, on his remarkable list.
The Yellow Rose of Texas 1× in 1 column
Chimed by the battery-clock on the stroke of the hour.
This Is Your Dog 1× in 1 column
Arthur Markowitz's book, which came to sleep on Carol's side of the bed.
Tiger fish 11× in 5 columns
Fierce striped game fish of the Zambezi and Kariba.
Heaven help me·So who's afraid of crocs?·There’s nothing quite like camping·Some fishy tales of feminine prowess·The day my daughter turned into a swan
Titanic 2× in 2 columns
How she entered the crowded school hall.
There's nothing like a good chew·A skeleton out of the cupboard
Toc H 1× in 1 column
Charity whose second-hand shop supplied the R27,95 Christian Dior ballgown.
Tossie Budd Breakers 3× in 1 column
Names considered for Barry and Ralph’s band; the column says they use Tubb for short.
Toyota Corolla 3× in 1 column
A 1998 one, traded up to from the 13-year-old jalopy.
Transvaal Education Department 1× in 1 column
Named in the column.
Tutu Personality Range 1× in 1 column
What they could perhaps call it, murmured Betty, also inspired.
Twisted Sister 2× in 1 column
Banned from the lounge for inhibiting the growth of bonsai.
Union Jack 1× in 1 column
What they resembled in unison, a mobile one.
Universal Bond Party 2× in 1 column
Ms Bekker's party, aiming at two million members by 19 February 1988.
UniverSoul Circus 1× in 1 column
Which Lunga Buthelezi performs for, sending her pay cheque home.
Uteri Unlimited 7× in 1 column
The book club's company, twelve uteri and a proposed listing on the stock exchange.
Vampire Kills 1× in 1 column
Named with the Sex Pistols, Kiss and The Teardrop Explodes.
Van der Merwe 7× in 7 columns
The Afrikaner everyman of the jokes, collected along with crocodile teeth and beercan openers.
Braais — or who burned the wors?·Fish are pretty foxy·I am a tree-trunk, Omo sofa·Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived·So, what's a lion or two?·Adverts' slogans power up our New South Africa·Yankee grandchild’s biltong delights
Vienna sausages 2× in 2 columns
Two left-over ones, with the peanut butter spread.
Every mother needs a full stomach in her life·Men's lib could start with a little chiffon
Village People 1× in 1 column
At the top of the pops in place of the nursery records, once the boys were old enough to queue for the razor.
Visco-Static Anti-Freeze 1× in 1 column
Sprayed on the engine, before the Long-Life.
Vulture Society 3× in 1 column
Specific in its advice: at all costs, keep it away. Its expert eventually arrived, complete.
Wawa 2× in 1 column
Seven million and three members, against verbal discrimination.
Wedding Day 3× in 3 columns
The champagne ordered for The Wedding Day, and no room to move.
The Wedding causes civil war·Motherhood — it’s a great big crying rip-off·Three down and only one to go ...
Western Province 7× in 7 columns
Should have won, said the nearest one.
Ag shame for a world which is oh so deprived·Surprise visit cleaned us out·Guns & Mobile Phones·Schools crisis a threat to all in SA·Gearing up for my son's Caribbean splicing not easy·Chef in the making – and what a pain·I miss our fluffy little scrap of energy
Whistler's Grandmother 4× in 2 columns
What to call her now, in case you don't know.
Maya is Born·Well hello, Maya, it's nice to know you're here at last
White Beyond 1× in 1 column
The great White Beyond, skied off into.
Whoosh and Cook 6× in 3 columns
Oven cleaner. Similar in shape, size and colour to the insect killer, and sprayed on a delicate underarm area.
A smoky tale of woe·Boerewors is the bane of my life·Forgive my yawn as the cliché-crunchers take over
Wielie Walie 1× in 1 column
The SABC's Afrikaans children's programme, and the unlikely occasion of a decision to go skiing.
Wild Experience 5× in 1 column
What was offered in Pretoria, and the column's own headline.
Windowlene 1× in 1 column
The glass cleaner the spectacles were polished with until they sparkled.
Winter Olympic Games 1× in 1 column
Her name put forward for them, and she blushed with pride.
Wizard of Oz 2× in 2 columns
"Ma, this is a Wizard of Oz munchkin suit."
Eat your heart out Margot·I guess other mothers have trees too ...
Wizzaway Travel 2× in 1 column
Travel agency that telephoned about a slender young gentleman trying to book a first-class return to Italy for a Latin project.
Women's Day 6× in 2 columns
There was joy too, and the choice to make it.
Wonderwoman 2× in 2 columns
"There was Batman, Superman, the Bionic man and person, Wonderwoman, and then came Supermother."
Woolworth's 8× in 8 columns
Her nightie, which she got stuck in at the Jan Smuts robot.
Every household drudge should have her day — but when?·The silk sheet syndrome·Stimulate your sole·C’mon – it’s nearly Christmas, let’s have another swinging party·So who did what to whom in Plet?·Facing up to the bare facts of rhythm in the old genes·Beauty takes to the bush·The night sweet romance passed me by
World Cup 6× in 5 columns
The semi-final coming up, against which the Budget did not stand a chance.
Who says it’s just a game?·Just keep the braai smoke off the TV screen·The break up of Spice Girls may have sunk our rand·Those weekends just ain’t long enough·A little perfection can go a long way
World War Two 9× in 9 columns
When it went missing in action, and it was used as a coffin.
Life is just a set of false teeth·Help! I've got a teenage daughter·Blame it all on spinach·Touts at robots help usher in new SA·Taking a bath with the neighbours saves water·Soon we'll be gobbling Karoo 'land langoustines'·Yes, mom, God should have been a woman·Where, oh where have all the Beetles gone?·Mr Tannenboim
Xhosa 16× in 7 columns
Named in the same question about which languages she speaks.
Die rubriek is ook in Afrikaans beskikbaar ...·Exhaustedly talking my way into the New SA·Ewe ... hayi ... and a few clicks are just the trick·Next century will be good for women and my Maya·Nisson Mandra·Wish list for the new millennium·Good times, bad times in a heartbeat
Yves St Laurent 1× in 1 column
The label on the two-metre saleslady's purple creation.
Zoo Lake Mothers' League 1× in 1 column
Met over tea and scones, 793 strong, and resolved to banish brown paper.
Mothers of the world unite for you have only brown paper to lose
Zulu 15× in 6 columns
The language and the anklet. "How's your Zulu, your Xhosa, your Sesotho?"
Help! I've got a teenage daughter·Die rubriek is ook in Afrikaans beskikbaar ...·It’s hard to live a little if you can’t let go a little·Exhaustedly talking my way into the New SA·Koopsiekte inevitable in shopping malls of the US·Noo-Noo and the shosholoza angel