Carol’s Column

Forget soaps, just switch to pre-election politicians

You have to admit there is a certain liveliness in the air, a frisson as the looming election draws near and all the various political parties get into gear. It's reassuring to know that we are doing things with zest. That we have as many political parties as provinces, that each is enthusiastically committed to gathering as many supporters for their cause as is possible.

Switching on TV has become a pleasure as no longer do we have to watch trashy American sitcoms but instead have our own indigenous versions as party politicians face the people and promise, propound, protest and pontificate about every relevant and irrelevant issue including some the electorate has never heard of. Open any newspaper and joyous gems spill from the pages. Such as brilliant Evita Bezuidenhout's perspicacious analysis of feisty Patricia de Lille and the PAC.

I quote: "Firstly, I'm worried about your logo: A map of Africa with the sun shining in Ghana? Does this mean you people don't even know where you live? Then this thing you suggest: Cutting off fingers? And toes? And arms and legs and the ander ding of criminals? Will that help? And what will be left of Allan Boesak?"

Then there was colleague Maureen Isaacson's superb interview with Eleanor Lombard who has been nominated as the Freedom Front's candidate for premiership in the Western Cape.

For Lombard, feminism is not an issue: She is first and foremost a politician. Proclaims Lombard to Isaacson: "We do not mind being part of a fruit salad as long as we can maintain our identity, as, for instance, a banana or paw paw.

"The ANC writes their manifesto for the fruit salad. We write ours for the apple." Strong stuff indeed.

And if you thought that the African Christian Democratic Party held all the aces on self-righteous morality, forget it. KwaZulu Natal Democratic Party candidate Graham McIntosh has come out fighting for the rights of homophobes.

Seemingly appalled at Judge Edwin Cameron admitting that he was HIV-positive and a practising homosexual, wrote Moral McIntosh to a local paper: "Cameron's HIV infection is a logical consequence of his self-proclaimed, public and enthusiastic support for and practise of a homosexual orientation."

The horrified DP leadership hastily put out a statement which had McIntosh apologising "unconditionally" for any hurt he may have caused. Said the DP: McIntosh "fully supported" party policy recognising the rights of individuals to choose their sexual orientation.

McIntosh, voters will be relieved to learn, whose brain process is refreshingly unfettered by intellectual ability, believes that all prospective students should be tested for the HIV virus and that those who are found positive should not be allowed to register for long degrees "because they won't live more than five or six years." Then there's the New National Party who, doing their election canvassing at Qamata in the Transkei, used a troupe of topless dancing maidens to deliver thrust to their message.

Apparently NNP leader Marthinus van Schalkwyk was enthusiastically welcomed by the crowds whose spokesperson told van Schalkwyk that the people of the area did not care who led them as long as it was someone "who can tell the truth and lead us to greener pastures."

And talking of truth, does it matter that there are some people presently in power who have abused their positions, been dishonest, filled their personal coffers and who will, no doubt, be elected to even higher office. That's the nature of the political beast.

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